There are nights when the world feels unbearably still, when the weight of existence presses down in the quietest way possible — not as pain, not as sadness, but as something softer, emptier. You find yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 in the morning, tracing the patterns of your own thoughts, caught in the space between what is and what could be. The days pass, the seasons shift, and yet something inside you lingers, waiting. But for what?
It’s not despair. It’s not even loneliness. It’s the question that hums beneath the surface of ordinary days: Is this all there is?
A few nights ago, I asked my dad why people have kids. Not because I wanted an answer about parenting, but because I wanted an answer about purpose — about why people choose to anchor themselves to something, to give themselves so completely to a life beyond their own. Why, when the world already feels like too much, do we willingly ask for more?
He didn’t hesitate. Didn’t fumble for meaning the way I do. He just said, simply, Because it gives you something more to live for. A reason to wake up every day and be a better person.
And somehow, those words — so effortless, so certain — settled something inside me. Because maybe that’s all any of us are searching for. Not happiness, not success, not even love in the way we usually define it.
Just something more.
Something that pulls us forward. Something to wake up for.
The Fear of an Empty Life
There is a weight that comes with living in a world so vast, a life so unstructured. The human brain wasn’t made to sit in existential contemplation all day; it was built to do. To hunt, to create, to connect. And yet, modern life leaves so many of us suspended in an invisible net of uncertainty, where every choice feels both infinite and meaningless.
Psychologists call this existential anxiety — the silent dread of a life without clear direction, the quiet terror of looking ahead and seeing nothing but empty space. But here’s the thing: life isn’t meant to hand you meaning on a silver platter.
You have to build it yourself.
You have to take the raw materials of existence — the little joys, the tiny moments, the things that make you feel — and craft them into something that matters.
Not Finding Joy, But Creating It
Most people go through life waiting to stumble upon happiness, like it’s something buried underground, waiting to be unearthed. But joy isn’t something you find — it’s something you make.
It’s your dog leaping into your arms when you walk through the door. It’s your favorite coffee mug warming your hands on a slow morning. It’s the way the sun filters through your window in that perfect golden hue.
Neuroscience backs this up. Dopamine, the brain’s pleasure chemical, isn’t just released when something exciting happens — it’s released in anticipation of joy. That means the act of creating happiness, of setting little markers of light in your days, is just as powerful as the joy itself.
So don’t just wait for happiness to appear. Set it up like dominos, little pieces of light scattered throughout your life:
- The playlist you put on for your drive to work, where every song makes you feel infinite.
- The morning routine that makes your world feel a little bit softer, a little bit safer.
- The tiny traditions you create with friends, like always meeting at the same café or watching the same old movies.
- The book you carry everywhere, the one that feels like home.
Life is uncertain. But joy can be something you count on.
More Than Happiness: The Power of Passion
But happiness alone isn’t enough. Because eventually, you will sit in a room filled with all your favorite things and still feel like something is missing. That’s because what you need isn’t just happiness — it’s purpose.
There’s a reason why people who are deeply passionate about something — an art form, a career, a cause — report higher levels of life satisfaction. Passion gives life shape. It gives you something to chase, something to build, something that makes your time here feel worthwhile.
It doesn’t have to be grand. Maybe it’s a book you want to write, a song you’ve been composing in your head for years, a dream of seeing every ocean in the world. Maybe it’s planting a garden, painting a canvas, or taking photographs that capture life exactly as it is. Maybe it’s simply being the kind of person who makes people feel less alone.
Whatever it is, find it. Find the thing that makes your hands itch to create, the thing that makes hours disappear, the thing that feels like a thread connecting you to something bigger than yourself. Because passion is what turns existence into living.
Loneliness: The Ache We Can’t Ignore
Of all the emotions we fear, loneliness is the one that lingers the longest. It is quiet but consuming, a weight that settles into your bones. Studies show that loneliness physically weakens the body, increasing stress hormones and even shortening one’s lifespan.
And yet, connection doesn’t just mean other people. Connection can be anything that makes you feel tethered to the world around you, such as:
- The way a dog presses its nose into your hand, like it knows you need comfort.
- The way a song from your childhood makes you feel safe.
- The barista who remembers your order.
- The plant in your window that somehow keeps growing.
We are wired to belong — not just to people, but to life itself.
And when human connection does come, when you find the people who make you feel lighter just by being near them, hold onto them. Tell them what they mean to you. Show up. Call them just because. Make sure they know, without a doubt, that they are not alone either.
The Answer to the Ache
So, no, the meaning of life isn’t something as simple as happiness. It isn’t something you find at the top of a mountain or buried at the bottom of your worries.
It’s in the things you choose to love.
It’s in the joy you create for yourself.
It’s in the passions that make you feel alive.
It’s in the people, the art, the laughter, the little pieces of beauty that remind you why you’re here.
And maybe, at the end of the day, that’s all we really need. A reason to wake up. A reason to be good. A reason to keep going.