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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter.

I’m not proud to admit it, but I fell victim to the alluring nature of social media. I was constantly scrolling on Tiktok for really no other reason than the fact that I felt like I couldn’t stop. I found it enjoyable, but it was slowly destroying my mental health. I couldn’t focus for long periods at a time, I was constantly comparing myself to everyone on my “for you” page, which led me to a new low of self-confidence and self-worth, I felt like a shell of a person, and I was overall miserable. 

I hated the fact that anytime I was bored I would just instantly go  scroll on Tiktok before anything else or that I would doom-scroll for hours right before bed. While everyone around me was talking about the shows they were watching, the new music they were discovering, what was going on in the news, or the new hobbies they were enjoying—I had absolutely nothing to add to the conversation. All I knew and could contribute was what was trending on my social media—I have honestly never felt so boring and uninteresting in my life. 

Emma Chamberlain recently revisited one of my favorite episodes about body image and self love where she talked about how social media was an immense aspect of body image and comparisons. Chamberlain said, “I think when one is in a good place mentally, they can look at things online and appreciate them and not compare themselves. I do think it’s possible for some people, but if you’re in a particularly bad place with your body, it’s really not.”

With that being said—I was not in a good place with my body and physical appearance to be consuming as much social media as I was. In the back of my mind, I was also always desperate to find people who looked like me because I put so much stock into my appearance, so I was hopelessly trying to find people with my body type who I thought were beautiful to tie my self-esteem to that. It’s very unhealthy,I know. But it’s so hard not to do it! Chamberlain continued on to say, “but we cannot deny the way that social media even subconsciously impacts our body image.”

To me the worst part of all of this was that my subconscious was doing the heavy lifting for me. I didn’t know I was comparing myself half of the time and it was occurring daily. 

Chamberlain also said “There’s no way to fend off the comparisons. You just can’t. And I think that it’s a critical starting point to get off of social media, so you can stop comparing yourself to others and also comparing yourself to potentially something that’s not even real.”

I was comparing where I am in my life to other 19-year-olds online and where they were in their lives, forgetting that their life may potentially not even be real. Most of social media is what we choose to portray to others—that doesn’t always mean it’s how someone’s life actually is. This isn’t to say that I don’t compare my journey to those around me in real life, but it’s just not at the tip of my fingers. 

It was around New Years that I decided I’d had enough. No one was forcing me to aimlessly scroll, it was all me and my choices. I haven’t deleted TikTok or any other social media because I needed to prove to myself that I have enough discipline to accomplish exactly what I wanted to do. And I did! I continue to do so too. 

Did I trade one vice for another? Sure. I traded my daily allotted “Tiktok Time” for Pinterest, but I’ve already seen tremendous improvements on my mental health and overall well-being. I’ve been happier, less irritable, more passionate, more accepting, more inspired, more present in my conversations, and more interesting. I’ve gotten really into watching NPR’s Tiny Desk Concerts from my favorite artists, I’ve gotten back into reading the books I really enjoy, and exploring new things I’d never thought before.

Now, please don’t get me wrong, I think that there are truly some great benefits from TikTok. I’ve stumbled upon some of my new favorite music from undiscovered artists, learned new recipes for cooking , and got book recommendations from my algorithm. There are so many benefits for inspiring and entertaining people on social media—it just wasn’t serving me in that way any more. My intentions and obsession with social media was making a previously positive experience into my own self-promoted circle of hell. 

But the good news is,I feel like I’m back on the self-improving journey I was meant to be on at this phase in my life. I’m already more at peace and I can visualize my future a bit clearer. I feel like I’m finally getting myself back.

Lachlan is a second-year student at CU Boulder double-majoring in Psychology and Strategic Communications. In HCCU, she hopes to find a new passion and to expand her creativity. She's very passionate about anything food/coffee related, feminism, discussing social media, and mental health. Lachlan is a member of the Her Campus Chapter at CU Boulder this 24-25 academic school year. This is her second year being a part of Her Campus. Along with being a writer, she is also on the social team, working with a team of fellow writers to create posts for the HCCU Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, and VSCO. Outside of writing and school, she loves to cook, read romance books, listen to new music, stalk her Spotify Daylist, and explore new restaurants and coffee shops. Lachlan hopes of opening her own coffee shop one day. You can usually find her either watching the same 3 rom-coms on rotation or scrolling through Pinterest. She is currently obsessed with Sex and the City and iced honey cinnamon lattes. Her current favorite artists are Daniel Caesar, Mac Miller, Doja Cat, Ray Bull, Malcolm Todd, Ashe, The Marias and Sombr.