“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, / And sorry I could not travel both / And be one traveler, long I stood / And looked down one as far as I could / To where it bent in the undergrowth;” This quote is from Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken.” You may have heard it before, or rather the more popular ending, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I / —I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.”Â
I have long thought about these sentences, ever since my mom introduced me to the poem as a high school student. For me, there has always been grief in letting go, making a choice, and moving on from what could have been, or in some instances, what I feel should have been.Â
“there has always been grief in letting go”
Over the summer, I lost two of my best friends. My dog Scout was diagnosed with blood cancer, and the time that we had with him between his diagnosis and passing was far too limited. My other dog Zoey, who had been with me since I was four years old, also passed away due to old age. This summer, if I could describe my life in one word, it would be limited. I felt trapped in my mind because I wanted to enjoy every second I had left with Scout and with Zoey, but it was also so hard knowing that it would all soon come to an end. It is so hard to let go.Â
Grief can be all-consuming and color everything. It can cause you to be stuck in your mind, but also in the past. I can’t even count on one hand the number of times I agonized this summer over everything I could have done differently. All the times that I could have walked Scout, or played with him when he wanted me to. I wish I had just sat more with my dogs, even if we didn’t do anything, because it’s those simple moments you miss the most when they can no longer be yours. Even while Scout was sick and dying, a part of me still took for granted that there would be a tomorrow, that I wouldn’t have to say goodbye so soon. But one day I came home, and he was at the ER. We put him down that night.Â
The most painful thing that losing Scout taught me is that nothing is promised and if you start to take your life and the lives of others for granted, you miss out on so much good. It is a waste to sit around wondering and waiting when you could be doing. There is grief in moving on, or holding on. Trying and failing. Or not ever trying at all. Speaking up, and never speaking up. No matter what we do there will always be grief.Â
So why not choose to live? Why not appreciate every moment that you have with the ones you love? Why not appreciate every moment as an individual on this planet? The good, the bad, and the ugly as well. Some days it will be hard and you might catch yourself slipping back into old habits. But like everything, grief is a process, and you cannot do better until you know better. I had to learn the hard lesson this summer: I lost two integral pieces of my childhood. But I also realized how lucky I am to live and be surrounded by those I love. I am blessed to have opportunities and to keep going even when things get hard. There are so many difficult chapters in life, but also so many beautiful things. It’s high time I focused on the good there is, not what could have been. After all, grief is just love with no place to go.