If you are someone who is feeling lost right now, you aren’t alone. I turned 19 this year, and so far it’s been one of the hardest and most painful transition years of my life. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s typically the “filler” years like 13,17, and now 19 that pack the hardest punch. However, sometimes you need a wake up call in life, and the second semester of my freshman year was a big one for me. Initially, I had planned to write about a year-long bucket list, or must haves for incoming freshmen, to compile what I’ve learned so far in this year into a guidebook or checklist. But then, I realized how superficial that felt to even begin writing. You can bring all the right “stuff” or pack the essentials, but at the end of the day, you can’t pack your heart, and you can’t guarantee security in yourself and life.Â
So far, freshman year has been the year of change and heartbreak for me. It hasn’t been easy navigating college life, especially while I am changing so much internally, and I think the best advice I could give to incoming students is to be easy on yourself. We are all human, and if we are too hard on ourselves, it can lead to burnout and even less motivation to accomplish what we need to. Life can get messy, and in college, you may not always have the drive or passion to complete what you need to. It is a lot of “locking in” and suffering through the pain until you come out on the other side and have gained a new perspective, even though it can be messy. Â
There are going to be times when you feel on top of the world, and like everything is possible, still ahead of you. However, there will also be times when you hit rock bottom, and there is nowhere to go but up. It is in those times that you must rely on others. The people you choose to surround yourself with at college are so important, not only because you may create friendships or connections that last a lifetime and aid you in your future endeavors, but also because those people can become your safety net or lifeline whenever troubles arise or life becomes difficult to manage. Â
I used to want to do everything by myself in high school, and I didn’t like asking for help when I was struggling, especially mentally. I didn’t want people to see me at my lowest, but since coming to college, I have realized it doesn’t matter as much what people think. At the end of the day, we are all just here to learn and study what we are passionate about, and if that ever changes, and you feel like life is pushing you in a different direction, go for it. You never know what may light you up, and sometimes when one door closes, another one opens. There will be endings and beginnings for you in college, and that can be really painful. Your childhood is over, but you are right at the start of adulthood, which is simultaneously freeing and stressful. It can be really hard to let go — take it from someone who knows. But when you let go, everything starts to open up; you can see things more clearly without being jaded by the pain of change.Â
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
-Semisonic (https://chatbooks.com/blog/goodbye-quotes)
You may wish that there was a way to make time stop. To sit in the good moments and forget the rest, but unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. College is going to be filled with hopes and late nights, really terrible days where all you want to do is cry, quit, or go home, and it will also be some of the best days of your life. So let it in, let all the good, bad, ugly, and painful in. Accept that you are growing, changing, starting a new chapter, moving beyond your old life and your old self. It’s scary to move on, but think how proud you will be when you look back at all you have accomplished. As Taylor Swift once said, “you’re on your own, kid, you always have been.” You are the version of yourself that you wanted to be as a kid, and that little you will always be there, they just have to grow up too, with you. So go get ’em’, I know you’ll do great. Enjoy your freshman year because it goes by so fast, don’t overthink it, and remember to open up and let it all in.