My friends and I like to call ourselves “haters at heart” – meaning that we often tend to have negative predisposed opinions. This extends to pretty much anything that we discuss, whether it’s a piece of media, someone’s actions, or something that occurred in our day to day lives. However, this does not include being unnecessarily mean about someone’s appearance or disposition – that’s just being a bully.
Being a hater at heart mainly revolves around us complaining about minor inconveniences in our daily lives, but sometimes we do toe the line of being haters at heart and just being actual haters to those that seem to deserve it – usually men that ignore rejected advances and harass us. Never to anyone that hasn’t done us dirty in some way.
This Valentine’s Day, we’re all single for the first time since we’ve become friends in college. We have tons of fun plans for Galentine’s activities, but there’s still that nagging feeling, that weighty absence of any romantic partners on that special day. Even though this time, we’re all single by choice – whether that was because of a break-up or a firm individual decision of momentary celibacy – the lack of kisses, passion, and corny gestures is still glaring. It’s hard to separate yourself from that traditional way of celebrating Valentine’s Day, even if you didn’t really want to spend it with a certain someone in the first place.
So – here’s a few tips and tricks to get through Valentine’s Day as a single-and-not-wanting-to-mingle (but still strong, beautiful, and admirable) individual!
- Prioritize other relationships in your life.
This sounds (and definitely is) cliche – if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, focus on your friends and family to distract yourself from your single status! But this year, as someone who does not crave that sort of romantic closeness from another, I’m actually really looking forward to celebrating different forms of love and being able to spend time with friends and family.
It’s not a second choice or a last resort when you can’t find a romantic partner, but rather, something that has just as much importance and can bring you just as much comfort. More than that though, platonic and familial love have depths that are often forgotten about due to many things, but especially the vastly disproportionate amount of media that focuses solely on monogamous romantic and sexual relationships – something that Valentine’s Day tends to capitalize upon.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
Be a hater! Be salty, be angry at those that wronged you, upset that you don’t get cherished as a lover as well as a sister or daughter or friend on this love-centered day. As long as you don’t project those feelings onto other people or make other people upset because of your own emotions, you’re more than welcome to process those feelings in whatever way is best for you and you alone.
Additionally – if those “feelings” you’re feeling are nothing more than peacefulness and bliss due to your single status – embrace it just as much! Kick back and have a sweet treat and fun drink with the loved ones that you want to celebrate.
- Pull back pessimism…
Perhaps this is a little contradictory, especially as it’s inserted right after the bullet point of “feel your feelings.” However, there is a big difference between allowing yourself to feel your emotions and not bottle them up, and then being purely negative and refusing to celebrate this day out of spite and bitterness.
- Treat yourself!
Regardless of your stance on Valentine’s Day, there’s no doubt that it can kind of suck seeing everyone receive gifts while you end up getting, well… nothing.
Whether it’s a morning coffee with your favorite syrup and flavoring or a new clothing item that you’ve been wanting and saving up for, you deserve to treat yourself and get yourself something nice. Celebrating yourself – even while in a relationship, or while having lots of fulfilling friendships and familial relationships – is important.
- Celebrate the way that you want to.
At the end of the day, you know what makes you happy. If treating yourself with a little present, relishing in your emotions, and spending time with non-romantic relationships on Valentine’s Day truly, deeply does not align with your interests – don’t do it. Do what makes you happy, and what makes you feel truly fulfilled and loved.