What Does Your Columbia Freshman Dorm Say About You? HC Tackles Freshman Dorm Superlatives

Generally speaking, we here at Her Campus firmly believe that stereotypes are bad. But when it comes to freshman housing tropes, it’s a lot like astrology—you know housing stereotypes aren’t “real,” but hey, they’re fun to read about! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the diverse opinions of two small-town white girls from Carman 9 on what your freshman dorm says about what you’re “most likely” like as a person.

Carman: “We really dodged a bullet.” “We also pulled the trigger.” -Carman Elevator

  • Most Likely to Puke in the Elevator

  • Most Likely to Decorate with Vodka Bottles and Bongs

  • Most Likely to Juul and Make Sure You Know It

  • Most Likely to Drop Pre-Med

  • Most Likely to Own a Canada Goose Jacket

  • Most Likely to Play Sports

  • Most Likely to Have their Weed Delivered

  • Most Likely to Attend a Formal

  • Most Likely to Stan Ferris

  • Most Likely to be a Sex Addict and Also Bad at Sex

  • Worst Adderall to Work Ratio

  • Most Likely to “Do Yoga”

  • Can’t Cook and Doesn’t

  • Most Likely to Show Up Late to a Meeting with an Iced Drink

  • Most Likely to Hug You in the Bathroom at Mel’s

John Jay: “Stop being emo—you’ve been emo for three days.” -John Jay Lobby

  • Most Likely to Know Everyone on Their Floor

  • Most Likely to Decorate with Wine Bottles and Dried Flowers, Get a Housing Violation for the Flowers

  • Most Likely to Bring an Actual Mug of Coffee to Class

  • Most Likely to Know They’re a Good Dancer

  • Most Likely to be a Famous Alum

  • Most Likely to Model for GAP

  • Most Likely to Make References You Don’t Understand

  • Most Likely to Own a Polaroid or Disposable Camera

  • Most Likely to Secretly Judge You

  • Most Likely to Use Unnecessarily Large Words in UWriting

  • Most Likely to Smoke Cigarettes Outside of Avery, Cry in Avery, Be in Avery

  • Most Likely to Take “Cool” Pictures of New York

  • Can Cook but Doesn’t

  • Most Likely to Show Up Late to a Meeting with a Hot Drink

  • Most Likely to be an English Major

Furnald: “I drank coffee on an empty stomach again and I literally think you are going to have to CAVA me.” -Furnald Lounge

  • Most Likely to Bullet Journal

  • Most Likely to Have an RA Bust a “Party” That’s Just Two People Doing FroSci

  • Most Likely to Get Away with Throwing a Real Party

  • Most Likely to Have Gone Through a “Horse Girl” Phase

  • Most Likely to Grow Herbs in Their Window

  • Most Likely to do Either Math or Theater (Not Both)

  • Most Likely to Like Classical Music

  • Most Likely to Not Drink During NSOP

  • Most Likely to Wear Velcro

  • Most Likely to Shush a Conversation in the Lounge

  • Most Likely to Have a Suspiciously Clean Room

  • Most Likely to Take Actual Cool Pictures of New York

  • Can’t Cook but Does (A Lot)

  • Most Likely to Show Up On Time to a Meeting with a Hot Drink

  • Most Likely to Get Stressed Out About Tour Groups at Their Entrance

Wallach: “I’m too stressed out to go to yoga.” -Wallach Skylounge

  • Most Likely to Have Brought the Harry Potter Books to College

  • Most Likely to Own Candles

  • Most Likely to Have a Rat in Their Wall

  • Most Likely to Actually be Pre-Med

  • Most Likely to Own a Planner

  • Most Likely to be a Secret Drug Dealer

  • Most Likely to Never, Ever Leave Campus

  • Most Likely to Do Spec

  • Most Likely to Get Lost in Their Own Building

  • Most Likely to Secretly Party Every Weekend

  • Most Likely to Knit

  • Most Likely to Actually Do Yoga

  • Can Cook and Does

  • Most Likely to Show Up on Time to a Meeting with Hot Tea

  • Most Likely to be Really Disappointed in What a “Sky Lounge” Is

Hartley: “You guys rush sororities if you want; I’m going to fight club.” - Hartley Laundry Room

  • Most Likely to Post Pictures of the Subway to Snapchat

  • Most Likely to Actually Leave Campus

  • Most Likely to Give Honest Advice

  • Most Likely to have a Wolf Girl Phase—Current

  • Most Likely to Secretly Juul

  • Most Likely to Stan JJ’s. Sober. On a Tuesday.

  • Most Likely to Get a Sympathetic Look When They Say Where They Live

  • Most Likely to Never Speak to Their Suitemates

  • Most Likely to Take an Absurd Amount of Aesthetic Low Steps Pictures

  • Most Likely to Take Astrology Really Seriously

  • Most Likely to be From a Different Country

  • Most Likely to Go Vintage Shopping

  • Most Likely to Never Have a Clean Bathroom

  • Most Likely to Smoke Cigarettes Inside Avery

  • Most Likely to Not Show Up at All to a Meeting with an Iced Drink

  • Most Likely to Have a Tapestry on Their Wall

 

So what do you think? Do these housing stereotypes embody you as a person? Are they completely off-base? Are they just broad enough where they can apply to pretty much anyone? Let us know how you feel, and remember—housing might determine your personality, but you decide your destiny.