We tend to think of self-care as soothing: face masks, long walks, meditation playlists, cups of tea. But what if the most unexpectedly healing act is also one of the most uncomfortable: being embarrassed? In an age defined by its rapid pace, learning to embrace awkwardness may be the most radical form of self-care we have.
Embarrassment is usually treated as a flaw that needs to be fixed. We rehearse conversations in advance, delete posts from our feed that don’t perform well, and pray no one remembers the time we tripped in front of the dining hall steps. And yet, these very moments are the ones that connect us most deeply with others. They remind us we are human, not curated avatars. To blush or to say the wrong thing reveals that we are alive and imperfect, altogether.
Take, for instance, the universal classroom nightmare: being called on to discuss a reading you barely skimmed. For a second, the ground feels like it might open up beneath you. But then, after fumbling through a half-answer, you notice your classmates smiling in recognition. They’ve been there too. The shared laughter creates the start of a bond.
Is embarrassment the price of living authentically?
College tests this question. Embarrassment is bound to happen, especially in a city like New York. With new classes, new people, new risks, we have all signed up ourselves for moments that will test our confidence. And yet, the way we respond to those moments shapes not only how we’re seen, but how we see ourselves.
Truth is, everyone has different perceptions of embarrassment. For one person, speaking up in class feels natural, while for another, it’s terrifying. And while some might say “don’t worry, nobody’s watching,” I think that misses the point. I’m not here to tell you to put your trust in other people’s indifference, I’m here to suggest something different. The real freedom comes when you liberate yourself from carrying the weight of embarrassment in the first place. Avoidance is not how we grow but we remain unauthentic, guarded versions of ourselves. Especially in college, we are engineered to feel embarrassed.
The guy in class that speaks up constantly, even though half his points are nonsense? He’s interning at a Big Four firm. Or the girl on Instagram who shamelessly spams her page with brand tags? She’s getting sent PR packages and brand deals. Meanwhile, the rest of us? We sit on ideas we know are creative, but we’re too scared to risk the embarrassment of putting them out to the world. The only difference between us and them isn’t intelligence or talent. It’s a willingness to be embarrassed.
Embarrassment as a Muscle
Let’s think of embarrassment like a workout. Work it out, and it grows. Ignore it, and it stays weak. The same way when we squat at the gym and can’t walk up the stairs the next morning, it burns. Embarrassment burns the same way. However, it’s just temporary, and working it more builds resilience. Resilience is what makes people unstoppable.
Being willing to embarrass yourself means you’re willing to take risks, and that’s the only way to achieve something bigger than safety. If you train this muscle, you’re already ahead of 90% of people, because most people spend their lives avoiding it.
The best stories you’ll tell at 40 are the embarrassing ones you survived at 20.
Secret Benefit
What nobody tells you is that embarrassment makes you likable.
Psychologists have actually found that people who blush, trip over their words, or admit awkward moments are seen as more trustworthy. Embarrassment shows humility, it unintentionally shows humanity. It’s an important social function!
Think about it, when someone trips, we don’t think less of them. We laugh, empathize and admire them for laughing it off. But when we trip? It sends us into a self-conscious spiral. Embarrassment humanizes us and cuts through our polished LinkedIn and signals, “I’m real.” And in a world obsessed with perfection, being real is magnetic.
Crossing the Tunnel
Embarrassment is a dark and uncomfortable tunnel. A tunnel that we have to pass through to reach the other side of our goals. It’s where we aren’t afraid to share our ideas and stop worrying about having the perfect pitch, delivery and instead focus on honest expression. Where we allow our life to feel like living and less like auditioning.
If the happiest, most authentic people I know are the ones with the longest highlight reel of embarrassing moments, then there’s some truth to my argument. Embarrassment isn’t something to avoid, it’s a sign you’re playing the game. Just make sure you’re not watching from the sidelines.
At its core, self-care isn’t only about protecting ourselves from stress or creating moments of calm. It’s about building the strength to live fully and authentically. As uncomfortable as embarrassment is, it gives us strength. By choosing to risk humiliation, we are choosing to care for our future selves, where we will be more resilient and less afraid. This is why embarrassment belongs in our self-care toolkit, nothing restores us more than the freedom to be real.