An Emotional Recap of the Worst 'Bachelor' Episode Ever

Shock. Anger. Frustration. Disappointment. Did we mention anger? No—we’re not describing our midterm grades leading into spring break. This is serious. This is the latest episode of the Bachelor.

Chris Harrison, where are you and what are you allowing to happen to this season? If you didn’t watch this week—our first inclinations are to say don’t—but if your devotion to the show is too great, we understand. Just beware of the oncoming spoilers!

An emotional recap of the Bachelor this week:

When Vanessa was given the rose OVER CORRINE !!

Corrine gave you an entirely metro outfit worth over $1000. What did you get on Vanessa’s hometown—other than the realization that she’ll never leave Canada and you’ll never cross the border?

When Corrine shed heartfelt tears, but then smiled holding a glass of champagne in the limo…

Are we witnessing the making of the next Bachelor Nation superstar? Nick may have met his match.  

When sweet, sweet Raven told Nick (not just once) twice that a man’s never made her orgasm…

Regardless of being tmi—your parents are watching, Raven!! And ours too!

When Nick cried as Raven professed her love

Come on, man. You’ve cried more than every girl combined. You’re dating multiple women who are “in it for the right reasons”—what do you have to cry about?

When 45 minutes passed in the episode and Raven hadn’t even made it to the fantasy suite…

Confusion set in—but we rationalized Raven as the front runner, so she’s allotted more screen time?

Alas, that was wishful thinking. When the scenes for next week began to air at the end of the hour…

That was a joke.

What an outrage—when we mentally prepared for the two full hours!

Then they announce next week’s special episode will be three hours long…

We simply can’t commit to that.

So, if you're tuning in for next week's episode—remember—you’re in it for the long haul.