Online school from your rural town you thought you’d escaped from is really quite an interesting experience. Early August, I found out all of my classes at CNU were going to be online which meant your girl was going to have to make a really tough decision on whether or not to remain home. And remaining home was the best decision ultimately.
I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough. My classes are at random bursts throughout the day, all my friends are still at school, money is tight, and motivation comes in waves. It’s a funny thing doing online school from home; being completely surrounded by familiar things almost seems sucks the motivation right out of you. Your mindset is “oh well, I’m home, so no responsibilities of college-related stuff”. Or the opposite happens, and you throw yourself into your work 24/7. I’m the opposite. Finding that balance, the will to get up at 9 AM and still manage what social life I have during these difficult times, has been confusing and mentally exhausting. I imagine a lot of you may be feeling similar things. There’s something about being online that makes me quite anxious, refusing to talk or turn on my camera, and constantly worried that I’m missing an assignment or going to be kicked out of the video chats. Classes seem dreadfully longer, paying attention and absorbing material is confusing and tedious. It’s just weird. At times, I almost forget I’m even in school, or what life was like mere months ago.
Blackboard, however, and my professors have been tremendously helpful and understanding in these situations. I’m also lucky to have a decent wifi setup, semi-okay laptop, and a workspace to get things done. To keep myself sane, I’ve been trying to cook more and to actually complete TV shows for once. Organizing playlists, playing with our new kitten, going to the Drive-In Theater, and bouncing between my two homes have managed to dull the constant stress of school and the unknowns of today.
For anyone at home right now trying to make it through this semester or perhaps to relate to this, right now is a pivotal time for all of us to take care of each other and ourselves. Mental health and managing your stress and anxiety is key; there’s already some much going on right now in the world, so many unknowns, so much abuse and negativity. Keeping yourself educated, get plenty of sleep, and please, please don’t be like me, someone who throws herself into her work at all hours of the day because she feels guilty if she doesn’t. Take things slow, take them swifts; do what you must to manage your own. We got this!