Is your partner talking to their ex a little more often than you’d like? Did your little sister get a job that pays $10 an hour on the first try while you’re stuck at $7.25 after a year? Did your friend get into a band you introduced them to a few years ago because someone else made them listen to it? Are you done feeling negative about it?
(Not all of these are going to apply to your situation, so use them as you need them!)
1. Talk about it!
This tip sounds pretty lame, but in any relationship, communication is key! If something is bothering you, talk about it. And I don’t mean talk to someone else about it. If you’re talking to your friend about how your boyfriend eats all your food and leaves the mess behind when he leaves, they’re probably going to agree with you, and you’ll still be irritated about it. Why? Because there’s no resolution to the problem! Talk it out!
You know the saying “don’t go to bed angry”? Don’t let a problem sit and fester. Talk out the little things so that if a big problem arises, you can handle it with all your energy.
2. Work it out or walk it out.
I mean that seriously. This is useful for things that you can’t change. Exercise helps improve your mood by releasing happy chemicals to your brain and will help you feel better, and when you start to feel better, your outlook will change too! Besides that, it’ll give you a physical outlet to all that physical stress built up inside.
What if you’re like me and exercise really isn’t your thing, or what if you don’t have time to execute a full workout? Take a walk outside or take a little time to stretch. Walking outside is exercise as well, and will get those chemicals going along with the benefit of breathing fresh air and time to ponder your problem. Stretching doesn’t take much time and helps physically relax your muscles, which may have grown tense with stress. With less physical stress, it’s easier to let go of the mental stress too!
3. Cry about it.
This might sound kind of stupid, like, “Why would you cry over something you’re irritated about? It’s not that big of a deal.” On the contrary, letting out those salty drops from your eyes can work to remove your mental salt. (Yes I’ve been waiting a long time to say that.) Studies say that crying removes toxins built up by stress, lowers your stress, and improves your mood.
And if you feel stupid about it afterward, it might just help you see that what you’re stressing over really isn’t that big of a deal (if that’s how you want to look at it).
Just cry. Seriously.
4. Write.
A lot of times you might not be able to actually tell why you feel bad in the first place. A good solution? Write about it. Write about what happened to make you feel the way you do, and as you’re explaining it you might figure something out you hadn’t thought of before, either from your own point of view, or from someone else’s.
Or you could try making lists. You could try listing all the bad things about a situation to get them all out in front of you instead of swirling around angrily in your head, or you could try making a list of all the good things that might come out of a bad situation. Better yet, move on from the bad list to the good list and maybe it might take some of the weight out of your issues.
5. Do something you enjoy.
Now this kind of sounds like generic “self-help” stuff, but honestly. Take some time out of your day to do something that makes you happy.
We all have obligations that try to get in the way of what we really want to be doing, and I’m not saying that you should neglect them, but if you’re not enjoying yourself to begin with then it’s easier for negative feelings to take place. Have you ever been doing homework when someone comes in complaining about something and you’re like “ugh, I don’t have time for this…”? If that same person had come in complaining about the same problem and you were doing something you enjoy (reading, video games, drawing, resting, etc.), it would be far less of an annoyance. Think about that the same way with your own complaints.