Why You Shouldn’t Be Embarrassed of Your Life

My parents are divorced. I moved from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to Asheville, North Carolina. I was bullied so badly in the sixth grade I almost quit my favorite activity. I’m a terrible test taker. I was deferred until January from my number one choice college. I failed my first try at my Pharmacy Technician test. My grandmother died suddenly and shook my whole world.

 

This is a small list of things I’ve always had a hard time with. When I first moved to North Carolina, I didn’t tell a soul my parents were divorced because it was something I had a hard time accepting. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t score higher on the SAT and ACT because I knew that I wouldn’t make it into colleges that I should’ve been able to get into. I was embarrassed that I was going to a community college for a semester because everyone thought that I was stupid and it would be easy. I was devastated that my grandmother had died because she was one of the people who always seemed to encourage me to do what I wanted to do. When I failed my Pharmacy Technician Test I cried. Not because I didn’t pass, but because I thought everyone would know and judge me for it. But, now looking back at all of this, I find myself thinking “so what? These things are minuscule bumps in the road. Do not let these define you.”

While these are just a few examples of everything that’s happened, I couldn’t imagine I would be here without any of those experiences. I’ve had more Kim Kardashian style breakdowns about it than I would like to admit. I would cry, think I wasn’t worth it, tell myself I was going to quit it all and give up but here’s the thing: I never did.

 

Granted every time it happened I had my mom right beside me telling me I could do it. My friends didn’t understand how much I did for my family to support them. Those test scores didn’t define me. I was still going to college so who cared where I went. My grandmother would be so proud of me. She often quoted the help when they say, “You is smart. You is Kind. You is important.” Then she made me repeat it and told me to suck it up because I was better than the tears that I had shed. Since August I have become such a different person because of these pep talks and what I’ve been through. I took 19 hours last semester of chemistry, statistics, biology, sociology, English and an intro course for the community college I was in and ended with a 3.6 GPA. I retook my pharmacy tech test and passed. I took on a job from three to eight every Monday through Thursday and loved every minute of it. I grew my relationship further with God which helped with the relationships I had with my friends and family. The point is I grew stronger and further than I had every grown before.

This being said, regardless of what you’re going through, you shouldn’t give up because you’re stronger. I learned that God put all of these obstacles in my path to grow me as a person, not to hurt me. So, don’t be afraid or embarrassed of what you’re going through. Life isn’t easy nor was it meant to be. We can’t all have Hallmark movie inspired lives because, most likely, it won’t end up that way in the end, but that’s okay because you’re human. You’re alive and you’re living your life in your path that was put in front of you. Test scores, relationships with boys, grades, or past experiences, can’t define it. It’s your game to roll the dice in and whether it’s a good or a bad roll, don’t fret because you’re going to make it. The journey is just the beginning. Now repeat after me, “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”