If you are one of those girls who has sworn your entire life that you would never join a sorority then find yourself thinking you would love to give something new a try, I have one thing to say to you: Don’t.
I have had many conversations with other females who have disaffiliated with their organizations and we can all agree on a few things.
1. We knew we never wanted to be in a sorority in the first place.
Somewhere deep down we always knew that joining a sorority was completely out of character. We all just let the girls convince us that they had never seen themselves in a sorority either and now they absolutely love it. Honestly, they are lying to you. Maybe a small part of them never wanted to join a sorority but deep down every last one of them wanted to be a part of a group of people. You know yourself and that this is out of character. This is not who you are! Please do not convince yourself that you can change for this. You are totally permitted to change. Personal growth is a must! However, you are not allowed to change your deep inner self that knows no matter what this will never be you.
2. For a majority, the girls are all still so nice.
The girls are really kind. That is how they reel you in. For whatever reason you left or are planning to leave, do not let their kindness fool you. There are always snakes hiding out waiting to strike.
3. We wish we had never joined.
Honestly the process of joining is so long. You get all these gifts that you end up having to give back once you disaffiliate. You start to feel like you are one of them though in your head you are mocking their rituals. Plus, the meetings are all sooooooooo boring. You get treated differently once you are no longer a part of their organization. You wasted your valuable time and money.
4. Sororities aren’t for everyone.
They try to trick you and say that sororities are for everyone even if we do not think so at first, but the truth is that they are not for everyone. You have to have a certain mindset and thick skin to be in a sorority. I definitely have a thick skin but my mindset will never be the same as them and that is perfectly fine!
5. They are not your sisters.
I know that they say you can make a family out of the people you chose when it comes to talking about ignoring blood relatives that are toxic for your personal growth. It is true. You can pick and choose your family members. But do you really think that 30+ girls are all your sister? Are they all there for you in the way that you would want a big sister or a little sister to be there for you. No. They use the term sister to pretend like you are all one big happy family when the fact of the matter is that there are a few girls (mostly your sorority family line) that you can genuinely call your sisters. These people vetted you and voted on whether to extend a bid to you based off of a few of these girls talking to you during little parties. It is nothing short of an employer picking you because they liked what you looked like on paper. A vote does not make everyone your sister.
6. It really does not set yourself apart when you put it on your resume.
No matter what they say, it does not set you apart from other qualified candidates. If two people were the option and they had the exact same resumes except for the one difference being that you are in a sorority, that will not sway the employer to your side. They are going to base it off of the interview. It is not like they have a special pile of people who went Greek and people who didn’t. It’s not like that pile of people who went Greek will get more of a chance over someone else. Yes, it is nice to have another filler spot on your resume, but no it does not get you the job.
7. Sometimes the connections you make do not advance you at all.
I met a “sister” that was around 35 years old when I was shopping at a chain store. She was the manager there. I was on the cusp of disaffiliating and I happened to run into her and get to talking to find out we were in the same sorority. She mentioned how the sorority had done so much for her and lead her to the success that she has today. She looked overworked and was doing nothing with her college degree. My point is that that is not where I want to be after graduation. As long as she is happy with her life then that is amazing. The problem is that sororities claim that you make lifelong connections that can help you to advance in this world. The reality of it is that they hope a few of the girls do well enough to be making 6 figures and extending the connections that they made in their career to their sorority sisters just because they are sisters and it is expected to help each other out. It is parasitic. I would never want to succeed just to have leeches trying to grab hold of me so that they could climb their way to the top without putting in all the effort that I did. I know that women are supposed to build each other up, but I am not going to let them build themselves up without putting in the hard work that I did.
No longer being in an environment that was toxic for me and completely out of character has done wonders for me. So, if you are thinking of joining a sorority but it is not your personality, you are thinking of disaffiliating but unsure, or you have disaffiliated, know that it will make you happiest never to be in a sorority at all.