I tested positive.
An absolute nightmare coming true. This moment was completely devastating to me. The entire semester, this is what I had feared the most. I did everything I was supposed to do. This cannot be happening.
The day I got my results was a very dark day for me. I struggle immensely with depression and anxiety, and I was completely torn apart by this news. Before I knew it, I was off to the quarantine dorms on campus.
I don’t think I stopped crying for the first couple of days there. In fact, that was the first thing I did when I arrived. I sobbed. I was sad, I was scared, I felt infinite amounts of guilt and stress. It was horrible. I had to make this my new normal to keep myself sane. I had to get through it.
Being a freshman in college during a pandemic is isolating enough, but being a freshman in college during a pandemic and ALSO in quarantine was the most alone I have ever felt. It felt like time was passing by without me, like when I got out, if I got out, I would be forgotten. As tough as it is physically, it also really manipulates your mental health.
I decided about halfway through that I could look at it with a different perspective. I could use this time to catch up on schoolwork, watch some of my favorite movies and shows, read, and get some rest. While this perspective didn’t make time go faster or make me feel less lonely, it kept me busy and mentally healthy, which is all I could’ve asked for.
Overall, my experience was not great by any means, but it could have been so much worse. I am so grateful to have had only the mildest of symptoms the entire time, and to be feeling better. I have a newfound appreciation for the most simplest of things, particularly fresh air.
Please take the virus seriously. This has never been, and still is not, a hoax. It is not something to gamble with. Don’t be selfish, social distance, stay safe, and wear your masks!