Facebook Is Not Your Soap Box: A Poem

Photo courtesy of someecards.com.

Exhausted from a draining day, I set my backpack down,

Then open up my MacBook Air and start to make my rounds.

Twitter, Insta, YouTube, Tumblr, Pinterest, all complete.

I just need one more outlet to post pictures of my feet.

And just like that, a lightbulb sits above my head, you bet.

It’s Facebook, Facebook, Facebook! Oh, how could I forget?

No need for name or password, I’m already logged in.

I click and scroll and like to see where all my friends have been.

Buried deep in statuses, it starts to get mundane,

Until I see my Uncle Tom has started to complain.

“Donald Trump is right!” he says, abusing his caps lock.

“We’ll throw them out and build a wall, then sit and laugh and mock!”

No please, my Tom, not this, not now. Immigration is no joke. 

You should not post a status so that people are provoked.

Of a feeble sum, two hundred friends, one-fifty will agree,

But fifty more will unfriend you, despite your desperate plea.

Save the nitty gritty for a journaling endeavor,

‘Cause “This really changed my views on that” is something said… well, never.

Facebook is a place for friends and family to connect.

So don’t you say a thing that’d make old Nana interject.

And while I’m on the subject, oh hey Facebook! Listen here.

If you don’t follow this direction, you might disappear.

Just please consider this when someone makes a new profile:

Think of controversial themes, compile a short file.

Next, give that list a title, like “Forbidden” or “Off-Limits.”

Then share that list with Uncle Tom and other matching critics.

Hey Tom, I want to set aside just one last protocol:

If you won’t share on Turkey Day, just don’t share it at all.

News feeds are not a place for you to sit on a soap box.

So sit back down, and watch this vid of kittens wearing socks.

• controversy
• facebook
• poetry
• politics