For many people, the holiday season is marketed as the happiest time of the year. Everywhere you look, there’s smiling families, perfectly wrapped gifts, and captions about gratitude and joy. However, for a lot of college students, the holidays do not always feel happy, and that truth rarely gets talked about.
Between the stress from finals, family expectations, financial stress, and personal loss, the holiday season can feel overwhelming instead of magical. If you’ve every felt disconnected, exhausted, or emotionally drained during this time, you are not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
The Pressure to Be Happy
One of the hardest parts of the holidays is the unspoken pressure to perform happiness. There is an expectation that you should feel grateful, excited, and joyful simply because it is “that time of the year.” When your emotions do not match that narrative, it can create a sense of guilt or shame.
College students often carry even more pressure. You may feel expected to come home with accomplishments to show for the semester, answers about your future, or proof that everything is going well. When life feels uncertain, academically, emotionally, or financially the holidays can magnify those feelings instead of easing them.
When Home Might Not Feel Like Home
For some students, going home isn’t relaxing. Family dynamics may be complicated, especially when the boundaries are blurred or if expectations are high. Questions about grades, relationships, career plans, or life choices may feel invasive rather than supportive.
Others might struggle because home might remind them of things they’re trying to heal from. Past trauma, strained relationships, or environments where you feel misunderstood can make the holidays emotionally exhausting. Wanting to have space from that doesn’t make you ungrateful– it makes you human.
Grief Doesn’t Take Holidays Off
The holidays can also be painful for those who are experiencing grief. Losing a loved one, ending a relationship, or even grieving a version of life you hoped to have can all resurface strongly during this season. Traditions can feel hollow or triggering when someone important from your life is missing.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and it certainly does not pause for the holidays. If you feel sadness alongside celebrations, both emotions are valid and can coexist.
Social Media Makes It Harder
Scrolling through social media during the holidays can intensify the feeling of loneliness. It may feel like everyone else is celebrating, travelling, or spending time with loved ones– while you’re struggling silently. What we forget is that social media only shows the highlights of peoples lives, not the full picture.
Comparing your reality to curated moments online will distort your sense of normalcy. Just because someone is posting a picture of them smiling, does not mean they aren’t dealing with their own struggles.
Giving Yourself Permission to Feel
One of the most important things you can do for yourself during the holidays is give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel. You do not need to force joy, gratitude, or excitement if those emotions aren’t present. Emotional honesty is healthier than pretending. If the holidays feel heavy, try focusing on small moments of comfort instead of big expectations. That might mean resting, journaling, watching comfort shows, or spending time with people who make you feel seen.
Redefine What the Holidays Mean to You
It is okay to redefine the holidays in a way that fits your personal/emotional needs. Traditions can change. You do not have to participate in everything or meet every expectation placed on you. Creating new rituals — even something as simple as having a quiet morning routine or solo reflection — can help you reclaim a sense of control and peace.
You Are Not Alone
If the holidays feel hard this year, remember that many others are quietly feeling the same way. Your emotions are valid, and your experience matters. Joy isn’t mandatory, and healing doesn’t have a deadline.
The holidays do not need to be perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes, simply getting through them with honesty and self compassion is more than enough.