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Why Is The “Situationship” Culture So Harmful But Yet So Common In Our Generation?

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Casper Libero chapter.

Once upon a time, when we were still little girls, our favourite movies were about epic loves and beautiful “Happily Ever Afters”.

Most of us grew up to be hopeless romantics, dreaming about falling in love with a prince and being the reason for the dispute between a vampire and a werewolf.

However, nowadays, as young women entering adulthood, we are forced to live in a rather disappointing world, in which romance is, if not dead, very difficult to find.

This is happening due to the change in today’s contemporary dating culture and the distortion of the concept of love.

How is that happening?

Easy, I’ll tell you!

The responsibilities that follow adulthood are making this generation too tired to bear with all the work it takes to be in a relationship.

Seriously, aren’t we all just too tired?

Gen Z is overwhelmed with the new responsibilities that come with adulthood and yet feeling another stress over their shoulders feels impossible. 

How are we meant to cope with college, getting a job, paying house expenses, deciding who to be, whom to trust, making the right decisions, and also being available to a relationship?

Consequently, the so-called “situationships” are a result of this scenario.

This new type of relationship, in which two people act as if they were dating but there is no commitment or “official label” is becoming very popular among 2000 babies.

However, is this the right solution? 

I mean, doesn’t this lack of compromise automatically generate blurry boundaries and a lack of emotional responsibility toward each other? 

Let’s analyze it

First of all, the whole purpose of a “situationship” is to be free of the responsibilities that come along with a relationship. That way, two people can go out every day, sleep together, meet each other’s friend group, and still not identify as partners. 

Furthermore, what is trying to be avoided here is the effort required to build a healthy long-term relationship, such as self-evaluation and communication.

Therefore, if this is what it takes to date someone and all they are looking for are effortless interactions, why would the new generation be interested in a serious relationship?

Finally, the nonexistent commitment and the lack of emotional involvement are the perfect recipe for someone to be a little bit less empathic and the other one way more heartbroken. 

Besides, this new model of dating does not work well for both genders (as many things in society).

In the sexist system that we still live in, when a woman gets involved with a man, whom she’s not in an official relationship with, especially if it is sexual, she will be seen as “an easy one” and “promiscuous”.

On the other hand, a man can be in a “situationship” or relationship, be non-monogamous, or even cheat, and still be acclaimed for it nevertheless. 

As an example, we can take a look at the case of Chico Moedas and Luisa Sonza, a former couple of Brazilian personalities.

They started dating, she wrote a song in his honor and proudly presented him to society. After cheating on her, Chico became a national sex symbol for being hot and a cheater. 

Entering this discussion with  “gender lens”, there is a drastic change of scenario, and this new way of dating cannot be solely justified by exhaustion. 

As such, “situationships” are way more about men always getting things their way than anything else.

It is just another excuse to get everything they want from a woman: her time, her body, her company, and her spirit, and offering nothing in return.

I may be jumping the gun and assuming that every woman who’s in a situationship wishes to change the scenario and make it an official relationship, surely there are exceptions, but personally, I have never seen a woman enjoy the perks of a situationship as a man does. 

If the motivation is to run away from responsibilities or to just take what you want without having to establish a bond, “situationships” tend not to end well nonetheless. 

Therefore, be aware of engaging with people who are “not looking for compromise”, because before you know it, you’ll want to share the keys to your apartment and they’ll want to share their love with someone else.


The article above was edited by Giovanna Rodrigues.

Like this type of content? Check out Her Campus Casper Libero for more.

My name is Nicole Dominguez, I am a 19-year-old Brazilian student. Currently, I am enrolled at the university Casper Libero and majoring in Journalism. My main interests are literature, politics, fashion, social media, cinema, and all kinds of music, especially Latin American artists.