How do you survive a decade in which the brain isn’t even fully developed, and you’re already expected to make important decisions? Well, when you’re completely lost about your major, uncertain about your relationship, and doubting every single decision you’ve ever made, congratulations: you’ve reached your 20s!
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a grey area is defined as “a situation that is not clear or where the rules are not known.” But it could also be described as the “twenty-somethings.” When childhood is left behind and wine replaces Kool-Aid, the mid-twenties, also known as “The Panic Years”, begin, and with them, confusion accompanies.
This difficult phase is defined by drastic changes and constant doubts. As soon as you reach legal age, multiple responsibilities are thrust upon you, and society expects you to become an adult overnight. The scariest part of it all is that, although mistakes are understandable, some decisions made in your 20s will most certainly define your career and lifestyle for the rest of your life.
Therefore, if young adults are expected to make such difficult decisions, they must be qualified to do so, even if they don’t feel ready for it, right? Wrong! They haven’t even fully developed their brains yet, let alone the ability to make life-altering choices.
Full Brain Development
Since it was determined that the brain isn’t completely developed until around 25 years old, as explained by the neuroscientist Dean Burnett on the BBC, there has been an ongoing discussion over whether this is a transformative factor or just an excuse to let young people get away with their mistakes. Many support the idea that having an immature prefrontal cortex, child psychologist Laverne Antrobusthe explains in an interview with the British website that the area of the brain responsible for emotions and decision-making, is enough to justify poor judgments.
On the other hand, some strongly believe that young people must be held accountable just as much as any other adult, regardless of their age or brain status. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t be acceptable to choose your life’s path during a decade when you can’t even decide what to have for dinner. When asked why the “twenty-somethings” are so groundbreaking and what differs this period from other phases of life, Brazilian clinical psychologist Bruna Prado explained that “the power of decision-making changes everything.”
As a child, there isn’t much freedom, and every mistake is supervised and controlled by a parent. However, when adulthood knocks on your door, there’s no longer room for experimental mistakes, and life starts to feel a little bit too serious. Furthermore, the combination of newfound independence and a brain that isn’t fully prepared to make important decisions results in painful mistakes.
The Expectations of Adulthood
In addition, there’s the constant feeling of never fully fulfilling the roles expected of young adults. During childhood, you’re simply a child, and no one expects you to be anything else. However, when adulthood arrives, you’re expected to become financially independent, a good driver, a student who makes your parents’ investment in education worthwhile, an emotionally supportive friend, a loving partner, and the list goes on.
The inner monologue of someone in their mid-twenties might go like this: “I need to get my driver’s license. I should drink more water. How do I start a joint account? I’ll ask mom to schedule a doctor’s appointment. I shouldn’t be relying on my mom at this age. I need to support my parents financially. I won’t have money for gas. I need to call my dad. I guess I deserve this expensive coffee. The trash hasn’t been taken out. I need to be a better friend. I haven’t been a good partner. I’m too tired to pay attention in this class. I’m not a good student. My parents’ money spent on university is being wasted.”
When living through your twenties, be sure that you’ll be accompanied by constant impostor syndrome and anxiety. Nothing defines this phase more than the feeling of not belonging. With all the negatives said, don’t feel too disappointed, your twenties will be as vivid and adventurous as they are difficult. These years, filled with mistakes, love, rule-breaking, tears, pleasure, discovery, learning, maturing, and more tears, will undoubtedly be remarkable.
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The article above was edited by Victória Abreu.
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