Being alone in public places while most people are surrounded by others can be challenging for those who struggle with social situations. Especially for women, who are constantly viewed more harshly, have their actions more frequently questioned, and see their worth more often underestimated.
A solo date — the act of taking yourself out, whether to see a movie, eat at a restaurant, or spend an afternoon in the park — has been gaining considerable popularity among women. This practice is not necessarily about being alone because no one else was available, but rather about choosing to do something solo that is typically associated with a date or an outing with others.
Why is this phenomenon showing such significant growth?
Nowadays, coordinating schedules with friends, family, and partners can be difficult. Fixed commitments — such as school, college, work, and other responsibilities — make it challenging to find free time that works for everyone. That is why a lot of people simply prefer to go by themselves. Going out alone to various locations also helps many women build independence and autonomy, as they no longer rely on anyone else’s availability to engage in activities or visit places they enjoy.
Furthermore, social media — especially TikTok, with its large number of women creating vlogs about solo dates, self-care days, and similar content — helps to encourage and normalize this behavior. It influences many other young women to give themselves a chance and, perhaps, start enjoying their own company.
Loneliness vs. Solitude
Being alone is often associated with loneliness. However, there are two sides to this coin. Loneliness is an uncomfortable and emotionally draining feeling that arises when people feel their social circles fail to meet their needs for affection and belonging — whether in friendships, romantic relationships, or even within family. Feeling lonely is not a choice, but a pain imposed by a sense of disconnection.
Another perspective on being alone is solitude. Unlike the previous one, this is the conscious and voluntary act of choosing to be by yourself, associating such moments with mental rest, self-discovery, and peace. That is how many women view those dates: as an act of self-care. With this distinction in mind, it is fair to say that a person can be physically alone without experiencing loneliness, just as someone can be surrounded by people and yet feel lonely.
When women stop waiting for Prince Charming
Ever since childhood, when we watched Snow White awaken from a sleeping curse with a kiss from the Prince, women have been taught that “happily ever after” is only achieved when a man enters their lives. This perspective is not limited to Disney movies; rather, it dominates much of the content the female audience consumes throughout their lives, including romantic comedies, books, television series, and other narratives found on social media.
The idealized portrayal of the male figure across entertainment platforms has created expectations that are, more often than not, too unrealistic to be met. Yet, they remain attractive enough to influence many women to set out in search of the “ideal man” they grew up learning to admire and desire.
This growing trend allows women to gradually break free from this limiting mindset, as they no longer wait for anyone else to start living their lives. By going out alone and enjoying their own company, they discover self-sufficiency — not because they don’t need social bonds to live, but because their sense of wholeness isn’t entirely based on having one person in their lives.
Finding yourself in your own company
There are several ways, places, and activities to explore when going out on your own: going to a coffee shop to treat yourself to a snack, reading in a public space, hiking, traveling, volunteering, or taking classes to develop your hobbies, among many others.
Although a lot of movies present the narrative of an idealized man as the main factor in female happiness, there are also those based on imperfect, challenging stories that are closer to reality, featuring women who, in many of these ways, venture out on their own.
That is the case of Liz Gilbert, who sets off to travel for a year in Eat, Pray, Love, as part of her journey of self-discovery to learn how to enjoy life’s pleasures without fear or guilt. Or in How to Be Single, when Alice Kepley walks through the Grand Canyon to witness the sunrise of a new year. And not forgetting the spontaneous and unique Louisa Clark in Me Before You, spending time on her own in Paris to heal from the pain of loss.
In the end, a solo date, no matter where or when, serves the same purpose: helping women discover the beauty of their own company, the key to better understanding themselves — who they are, what they want, what they need, and, above all, the importance of self-love.
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The article above was edited by Samantha Coutto.
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