In a generation that is constantly connected, being alone seems to have acquired a new meaning.
While social media keeps relationships and everyday interactions only a few clicks away, many young people are choosing to slow down, stay single, and invest in themselves.
This is where solomaxxing comes in: a trend centered on using alone time for personal growth. But is it truly about embracing solitude or just a way to cope with loneliness?
What Is Solomaxxing?
Solomaxxing describes intentionally staying single while focusing on areas such as education, career, health, finances, hobbies, and self-care. According to The Guardian, the term refers to prioritizing personal growth instead of actively pursuing a relationship.
The concept also reflects a changing perception of being single. Rather than seeing it as a temporary state before finding a partner, young people may view it as an opportunity to build a fulfilling life independently.
It is important, however, to distinguish solitude, loneliness, and isolation: Solitude is being alone by choice and feeling comfortable with it. Loneliness is the feeling of lacking meaningful connection, while isolation refers to limited social contact, whether voluntary or involuntary.
The Psychology of Choosing to Be Alone
Psychology offers a useful perspective on why solitude can be beneficial. Self-Determination Theory, developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, identifies autonomy, competence, and relatedness as fundamental psychological needs. Voluntary solitude can support autonomy by giving people space to explore their interests, develop skills, and understand themselves.
This extends beyond romantic relationships. Taking distance from certain friendships can help people establish boundaries, reconsider their priorities, and recognize which connections genuinely contribute to their well-being.
The concern arises when solitude becomes avoidance. Someone may withdraw after rejection, disappointment, or fear of intimacy rather than because they genuinely enjoy being alone. The behavior may look similar, but its underlying motivation is different.
A Generation Redefining Relationships
Solomaxxing is also connected to broader changes in how relationships are understood.
Sociologically, Zygmunt Bauman’s concept of “liquid love” describes modern relationships as increasingly unstable, balancing the desire for connection with the desire for independence. Although his theory predates Gen Z, it provides a useful lens for understanding why some young people approach commitment more cautiously.
Relationships are increasingly valued for their quality rather than simply their existence. A few meaningful friendships may matter more than a large social circle, while being in a romantic relationship is no longer necessarily seen as an essential milestone of adulthood.
This shift is also connected to the growing emphasis on “working on yourself.” Studying, building a career, caring for your health, developing hobbies, and becoming financially independent can be goals pursued for personal fulfillment rather than to become more desirable to someone else.
Social Media Shapes Everything
Social media turned these ideas into a visible cultural trend. TikTok and Instagram are filled with content about self-care, productivity, fitness, independence, and “glow-ups.” As a result, being single and enjoying your own company can become a lifestyle, an aesthetic, and online identity.
Erving Goffman’s theory of self-presentation helps explain this phenomenon. He argued that people manage the way they present themselves to others, comparing social interaction to a performance. Social media intensifies this process by allowing users to construct carefully curated images of independence, productivity, and emotional self-sufficiency.
However, these platforms also create constant exposure to other people’s relationships, achievements, and lifestyles. Solomaxxing can therefore be partly understood as a response to a digital environment that constantly demands attention, comparison, and availability.
Solitude, Not Disconnection
The value of solomaxxing ultimately depends on what solitude represents for the individual. Spending time alone can create freedom, self-knowledge, and independence, but it should not require completely withdrawing from meaningful connections.
The challenge is to recognize when solitude is a conscious choice, and when it becomes a shield against vulnerability — Protecting your peace can be healthy; turning independence into “I don’t need anyone” can eventually become isolation.
Perhaps solomaxxing is not evidence that Gen Z has given up on relationships, but that young people are becoming more selective about what they want from them. Being comfortable alone does not mean rejecting connection. It means building a life that feels complete on its own while remaining open to people who genuinely add to it.
The article above was edited by Alyah Gomes.
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