Coming out has always been a delicate thing for the LGBTQIA+ community. Opening up about a part of who you are can feel wrong to people who, for example, still believe that a “real” marriage only happens between a man and a woman. For Gen Z, it’s no different — the challenge is still there.
Where the term comes from (and what it means)
No one knows exactly where the phrase “coming out of the closet” started. But in the book Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, George Chauncey says the term likely came from a mix of two older ideas: “come out”, which used to mean when girls were introduced into society at debutante balls; and “skeletons in the closet”, which refers to shameful secrets.
Because of all the prejudice against LGBTQIA+ people, the phrase “come out of the closet” ended up meaning something like “admit something you’re supposed to be ashamed of”.
Why does it have to be a big announcement?
Gen Z often finds itself clashing with older generations when it comes to queerness. Younger folks tend to let go of the more conservative mindset that’s still common among Gen X (born after 1960) and Millennials (born after 1980). But the truth is, many of those older generations still treat same-sex relationships as a taboo.
That makes a lot of Gen Z feel unsafe about opening up to older people. “I know some people feel the need to come out, but if you don’t have a stable home, or if you’re in a place where your life could literally be at risk… it’s not really a priority, you know? I came out to my mom and she started crying, for example” said Yolanda, 19, a bisexual journalism student.
“My mom was totally shocked…” said Amanda, an influencer of the TikTok account @1casalporai.
If being gay wasn’t a big deal to so many people, we wouldn’t have to “announce” who we love — or don’t.
How Gen Z is supporting each other
Even with all the prejudice that still exists, Gen Z has shown itself to be much more open and supportive. “For most of my friends, coming out was so chill I can’t even remember how it went,” said Maria Clara, 19, a lesbian journalism student. Coming out is still a way of fighting for rights and breaking the whole heteronormative mindset we were raised with — because let’s be real: straight people never have to explain their sexuality.
More and more, people are starting to see that there’s no need to make a big statement about how you love. Thankfully, being queer is slowly losing that old, conservative label of “something wrong,” and with that, the pressure to make it a big deal is also fading.
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The article above was edited by Fernanda Miki Tsukase.
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