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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Why Third Wheeling Isn’t a Bad Thing

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Carthage chapter.

I think we’ve all heard someone’s voice fill with dread as they said the words, “I don’t want to be a third wheel!” But I’m here to teach you something, collegiettes, and that’s this: being the third wheel is nothing to be ashamed of! Sure, you may be single, or your significant other is just busy that day, but that doesn’t mean you have to turn down an invite from your friends. Spending time with a couple doesn’t mean it’s going to be a bad, lonely or uncomfortable experience. There are so many great things about being a third wheel!

You get two amazing friends

Chances are, if you’re getting invited to third wheel, you’re close with both of these people. An opportunity to socialize with anyone you know can be hard enough with a busy schedule, so this way you get to kill two birds with one stone and catch up with them both!

You can act as a mediator

Okay, maybe this isn’t a plus for everyone, but I was always really happy to help my friends see their SO’s side of the story. Being close to both people means that you hear both the happy and bad times from both perspectives, and it’s really helpful in being able to clear things up. It adds a whole new level to sleuthing or confronting people to help out your friends. Spouting off a quick recap of what their partner actually meant is a lot easier than having to hunt them down in Starbucks to ask why the other is crying in the bathroom.

There are tons of fun adventures

Third wheeling is so underrated, and here’s why: typically, if you’re getting invited out with a couple, it’s because they’re doing something fun. It’s almost like being asked out on a date. There’s going to be food involved, or an art museum, a trip to the city, hiking…

Opportunities for double dates!

If you’re seeing someone, you already have a couple all lined up that you know you’ll enjoy spending time with. There won’t be any desire to have couple friends because you’ve already got two wonderful people in your life. And if you’re still waiting for your perfect match to come around, you’ve already got a group to join in and help make some dates more laid back and comfortable – which can be really useful when you’re getting to know someone.

They cheer you on

They’ve got their relationship, and now they want you to be happy. Third wheeling means that you’ve got two people who want the best for you. They’re ready for those double dates and will want to help find someone that will fit into your life perfectly.

They help plan your future

If you’ve been third wheeling as long as I have, and your couple has been together for just as long, it almost builds a sort of parent-child relationship, and they want the best for you. Not only are they on the hunt to find you an eligible suitor but, because they’re planning their future together, there may be a desire to experience that with you. This means they’ll tell you about programs and houses and jobs that they think may interest you (which they stumbled across while apartment searching and looking up future salaries). You’re a big part of their relationship, so when they picture themselves in the future, they think about you, too. And, honestly, it’s great for someone *points at self* who doesn’t have their life together.

You get to watch them grow together

Whether you knew one before the other and saw them get together, or you met them both at the same time, you get to witness their relationship grow deeper and more intimate. It’s exciting. Sometimes, when talking with a friend about their SO, you only get to hear the extremes of their relationship because those are the important things that come up in conversation. Instead of being updated on the latest fight or extravagant date night, you get to watch your couple friends interact on a daily basis with each other. It’s on a completely different level and you get to see it develop over time.

Their wedding is going to be the happiest day of your life

My couple friends got married this past August after six years of being together, and let me tell you, there was nothing like standing under the wedding arch with them while another friend of ours read to them their vows. It’s only surpassed by the moment I got to help her boyfriend pick out the ring. Maybe the couple you’re third wheeling with won’t hit this stage, but if they do, get some tissues ready.

Third wheeling doesn’t mean you’re going to dread every second of being around your friends. Instead, it can be a learning experience and give you the opportunity to grow closer to them than you can ever imagine (plus, don’t forget the adventures – do it for the adventures).

Emily is a senior at Carthage College double majoring in English, with an emphasis in creative writing, and theatre, with an emphasis in costume design. She has also studied writing at Columbia University in the City of New York and The Second City - Chicago. Some of Emily's talents include eating large portions of pasta, quoting 80s romantic comedies, and unwanted Louis Armstrong impressions. These will all be very useful for her future career in television writing and producing.