On November 1st, the clocks fell back, the days got darker, and the painful, sharp bite of the cold air returned.
Early in the month, I quickly found myself falling into familiar routines. Leaving my house only for classes, harbouring a mindset of restless anxiety, and a strict point A to point B schedule. A lot of my thoughts had the underlying essence of “do it and be done,” or “the month will be over soon.”
After week one, I realized I had not been out to see the sky in over a day.
Admittedly, this is a trend I fall into every year. Thinking about past Novembers, the few memories they hold for me are marked by stress, school, and avoidance.
I notice those around me doing it too, with heads down while walking, and attendance in class dropping significantly. For now, I will speak from my own experience, as lower moods stem from countless factors this time of year.
November has always been a month that exists without me. June and July are sunny and inviting, October and December are festive and familiar, and September and January bring newness and excitement. November has always felt daunting, and I react by going on autopilot.
From waking up in the dark to walking home in the dark, the month feels like a rush of forgetfulness. The lack of daylight, alongside midterms rolling into finals, strips the leaves on the trees as quickly as it does my positive energy.
As week two began, I decided the month would never change, so maybe I should try.
With this, I found that November isn’t always bland and dreadful; it’s honest.
A month that lacks events, plans, and excitement can also bring an excess of introspection. In between classes and studying, I began to maintain a routine of prioritizing myself and remaining self-aware as I do so. This has started to pay off.
For me, this has manifested in your typical self-care methods. Taking longer walks despite the cold, pausing work to eat real food, and creating art in my free time have all been added to my November routine.
Simply allowing for slowness and letting my thoughts flow freely without interrupting them with stressors or negativity has allowed me to notice November and who I am within it.
This time of year does not have to be feared or treated with pessimism. It does not have to be a month we miss. Once I started looking at the month as something to live in, and not something to get through, I began enjoying it. Stress turned into gratitude for education, and boredom turned into appreciation for time.
This realization is recent, so it is a question whether this attitude will remain. For now, I will continue to enjoy November.