If he can do it, why can’t I? This is a question that I have always asked the adults in my life growing up. It’s something I’ve had to put a lot of thought into and want to decipher in this personal reflection.
When I asked the question, “if he can do it, why can’t I?” I’d get some lame responses like, “Oh, well, it’s not good for your health,” or “Oh, because girls are not strong, like boys.”
Me being the stubborn child that I was, I would go ahead and do that task anyway, leaving them absolutely shaken and casting dirty looks.
Another great thing I’ve noticed while growing up as a girl: I can never live up to impossible objective beauty standards. I’m told to lose weight, but once I do, I’m too skinny, or it’s not enough. I’m told that I’m too dark, so I lighten my skin, but then I am told that I look fake. It’s a push and pull of not being able to live up to what everyone wants me to be.
The truth is, though, I can’t make everyone happy – no matter what I do. So, rather than making the people around me happy, I just have to make sure that I am happy instead.
It has been a long journey in understanding that I am allowed to be who I want to be and that I can defy others’ expectations. At the end of the day, I have discovered that I have to do what makes me the happiest. Because I CAN do whatever he’s doing, maybe even better. Nay, much better. And I dress up and look the way I want to look as long as I feel confident in my clothes and skin.
I’ve learned to love myself and continue to be that stubborn girl who can do anything: and that’s made me happier than ever.