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We’ve come a long way since eHarmony was the only dating website around. With apps like Tinder, Bumble and who knows what else, love is not only in the air but on the web — just not for these unfortunate few.

*yells* PARKOUR

“The entire date lasted 45 minutes. We just walked around Byward and he managed to yell at pigeons, tell me why he hated his dad, and did parkour. I decided to leave early and we split up at the train station. He shook my hand (!!) and when I walked away, he texted me one minute later to tell me he had a great time and we should see each other again. When I texted him that I wasn’t interested, he took six hours to respond and said he wasn’t into me anyway.”

~ Class of 2025

Okay hear me out, if anyone mentions parkour on a first date they’re stuck on 2010 YouTube.


I went on a Tinder date with a guy one summer. He suggested a picnic at Mooney’s Bay but showed up with no food and just a bottle of wine. We went to the falls where he proceeded to drink the entire thing himself, get really really drunk, try to make out with me multiple times and then insist on walking me back to my house to once again, try to get in my pants. THANK GOD my dad pulled into the driveway as we were walking up. I immediately ran inside with him and said, “See ya!” to the guy with my dad laughing his ass off behind me. Worst date ever.

~Class of 2018

This one obviously had me at Mooney’s Bay LOL.

Baby Giraffe

“I’ve got tons but this has got to be one of the worst, other than the nasty, appalling messages. I matched with this guy in first year and we talked but never met up. Three years later, we matched again and I thought, ‘Hey, why not?’ His bio said 6’3 (yum). He was really sweet and hot as hell, so I invited him over.

He showed up at my door a solid 5’1… I couldn’t bring myself to shut the door in his face so he ended up hanging out for a bit and then left. I ghosted him immediately and he continued to stalk me for a month.

~Class of 2022

9+10 is 21 I GUESS.


“So my ex (he/him) and I (she/her) were exclusive for months, officially dating… but we had ‘couple-looking’ pics together on social media and everyone within our circle knew we were in an exclusive situationship. Let’s call him my ‘not-boyfriend.’ At the time that this all took place, I didn’t have Tinder/other similar apps because that was something that me and my ‘not-boyfriend’ agreed we both wouldn’t have. BUT when hanging out with friends, I would always go on their Tinder to help them swipe, make fun of cringy convos, etc.

One day I was hanging out in Oasis with a friend (she/her). This friend was not within the same circle of friends as me and my ‘not-boyfriend,’ so she had never met him in person but had seen him on my social media and I talked to her about him. She opened her phone for us to go on her Tinder together, and to my surprise, I saw a convo between her and my ‘not-boyfriend.’

I looked up at my friend and said, ‘Um, that’s (insert-not-boyfriend’s-name)’ to which she responded, ‘WTF you mean (insert-not-boyfriend’s name).’ So we caught my not-boyfriend red-handed and messed with him a bit before confronting him directly.

The worst part was that one of her pictures was a picture of JUST HER AND I, taken directly from my Instagram feed. I gave my friend the benefit of the doubt (she genuinely seemed to have no idea) and gave my ‘not-boyfriend’ the boot.”

~Class of 2022

This is AWFUL and so mean. You’d think he would be a bit smarter but you’re def better off without him.

Almost Troy Bolton

“Went to have a wine and charcuterie picnic as a first date with this guy from Hinge… he couldn’t open the bottle of wine (and honestly gave me the ick when he tried and failed) and then we got completely soaked in the rain.”

~Class of 2023

Sounds like the start of a rom-com if you ask me.

Cheese Touch

I met up with a guy that I matched with on Tinder about 1.5 years ago. We decided to go for a walk by Oakville’s lakeshore. So I get there and I meet him… first of all, he lied about his height, and secondly, smelt like he left his clothes soaking in the washer for too long. But I was like whatever, let me just give it a shot.

As the evening goes on and we’re walking, I’m starting to get chilly so he suggested we go for a drive. He didn’t want to go in his car (he had a Honda Civic) so we went in mine (I have a Jeep). I drove around for like five minutes and then he had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped at a Tim Hortons. I waited for him in the car while he went.

When he gets back, he opens the passenger door and goes, “Wanna find an empty parking lot and arm wrestle in the back seat?” I immediately said no and was utterly disturbed. He got in the car and I drove as fast as I possibly could in silence back to where his car was parked, told him to get out and then I left. I never spoke to him ever again.

~Class of 2023



“He told me he knew a place. He took me to a sex shop. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to see how uncomfortable he could make me.”

~Class of 2024

I hope you told his mom what happened to see how uncomfortable you could make HIM.

Sisters by chance, matched by choice

“Matched with a guy I’ve met a few times through my sister. Turns out, he only matched with me because he was in love with my sister and I looked like her ://///////////////////////////// LMFAOOOO”

~Class of 2023

That’s not what they meant by the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants LOL.


“It was just a casual thing. I didn’t like him at the time but I was open to a casual thing and thought I’d grow to like him over time. It was pretty clear once the messaging started that he seemed only interested in physical stuff (if you catch my drift). I played along thinking he’d realize eventually how creepy he was being and stop, but also subtly tried to change the subject. That didn’t work and it even got to a point where he asked if he could keep a pair of my underwear. All that is to say, he clearly wanted to move faster than I did. In all, it only lasted three days. I’m seriously glad I left.”

~Class of 2024

Sometimes you gotta read the room, ya know.

Tea leaves

“I was on a first date and this guy tried to give me a mental health diagnosis by the way I steeped my tea and then told me all about his conversations with his therapist… like good for you taking care of your mental health but I don’t need to know all that.”

~Class of 2022

Maybe tea leaves is the new astrology.

Moral of these stories: Leave your parkour skills at home, be honest about your height, order coffee instead of tea, avoid Mooney’s Bay, lakeshore, picnics, the mention of Tim Horton’s bathrooms, and last but not least, sex shops.

Thank you to everyone who submitted their stories! You are so strong. The next CC will be the last one EVER. Share your worst or embarrassing Prof/TA moments here.



Confessions have been edited for grammar, length and/or clarity.

Nairah Ahmed

Carleton '22

Nairah Ahmed is a down-to-earth, girl next door who found her way into studying Journalism and Law at Carleton. Originally from Mississauga, Nairah is a Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms enthusiast and enjoys talking about anything Disney Channel related. Hopeful to become a South Asian Elle Woods, she strives to build community through her storytelling and journalism.
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