“I do this because I care about you and I love you.”
These are the words that many girls and guys alike hear, followed by extreme acts or hurtful words that can severely wound a person, physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Domestic abuse is an extremely serious issue, and it often gets dismissed or goes unnoticed. Domestic abuse comes in many forms; physical, verbal, or emotional, among others and can leave a lasting impression on the victim. The first step to being able to escape and overpower domestic abuse is to be able to understand exactly what it is and recognize it effectively.
Domestic abuse is defined as a man or woman in an intimate relationship trying to seize control of the other person and dominate their lifestyle. An abuser’s goal is not to simply try to hurt their significant other’s feelings; their mission is to possess complete command of them and hurt them in ways that no one has hurt them before in order to exercise this command and prove themselves as the ultimate “leader”. They use insecurities, fear, shame, remorse, basically anything they can in order to cause harm to their SO to keep them under the spell of control. Anybody can be an abuser, and anybody can be a victim.
Recognizing the signs of DV is extremely important to be able to avoid it or get out of it. It can often be described as a ladder, originating as empty threats and insults and escalating to emotional abuse and erupting into physical acts of violence. You must know that you are not obligated to subject yourself to this at all in a relationship.
Feelings of unhappiness should result in the termination of a relationship, not in obtaining ultimate power over the other person in order to “fix it.” Many people who are in abusive relationships subject themselves to the pain and aggression without understanding why they are being treated this way. When people are able to recognize that they do not deserve to be treated in such a terrible way, they can start the process of leaving the abuse and overcoming it.
Starting on the path to help is a difficult one. Emotions are high and running around in your head, and you aren’t able to comprehend why the person who you thought you loved and loved you could hurt you. Know that it’s the abuser’s choice to partake in their practices, and hurting you is something that they decided to do. The path of help is partially in realizing that you were not wrong for seeking escape from the abuse because you are worth so much more than the insults and pain that the abuser put on you.
The other part is accepting what happened and being able to move on from it effectively and being a part of the solution. Advocating for more exposure for DV is extremely significant. More people need to realize what it is, how to recognize it, how to leave it if they are in the situation, and how to offer help to someone who needs it.
I hope every person who reads this can see the true message behind the writing. I hope you all realize that you are wonderful, amazing, and beautiful human beings, regardless of what anyone else labels you as. Know that you are worth it because I know you are.