Confidence has become one of the most common pieces of advice given to women. Through social media, self-help articles/books, through TV shows/movies, and even just growing up around women, a constant message tends to be that confidence is key. Although this idea is often meant to be empowering, it can also feel like yet another expectation placed on women.
In many professional and social spaces, confidence is treated as the key to success. Women are often told that speaking up more, advocating for themselves, and projecting confidence will help them advance in their careers or relationships. Confidence is important and a great quality. But this messaging can shift the focus away from larger systemic issues, such as workplace bias or unequal opportunities. Suggesting women need to be more confident to be successful suggests that women simply need to change themselves.
Women often face a double standard when it comes to confidence. If a woman appears unsure of herself, she is more likely to be labeled as insecure or unqualified. But if she expresses strong confidence or assertiveness, she risks being seen as arrogant or difficult. It can feel almost impossible to find that balance between being confident enough to be respected but not so confident that you are criticized.
Social media has intensified this pressure through multiple platforms filled with motivational posts and “confident girl” aesthetics. Which encourages women to constantly display self-assurance, whether through body positivity, career achievements, or lifestyle branding. Movements and posts like this can be empowering, but they can also make confidence feel like something that must always be performed.
Confidence shouldn’t be treated as a requirement or the way to success. Confidence grows naturally through experience, support, and opportunities to succeed. Instead of telling yourself to be more confident it’s important to find ways to boost your confidence and stay true to yourself.
Because confidence isn’t something women should be pressured to have, it’s something that grows over time and is personally developed.