In the words of Albert Einstein, insanity is defined as repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results. It may not be his Theory of Relativity, but it sure is applicable to our love lives in the modern age.
We always hope that they’ll change. They’ll become better communicators or make us their priority. But every time we try it again and again with them, we still find ourselves disappointed. Everyone has an Achilles’ heel, especially when it comes to someone we felt strongly about in our past. However, no matter how many times you hope that they have become less immature or more reliable, they still manage to let you down.
We shouldn’t be surprised, right? It’s the “expect the worst, yet be pleasantly surprised” mentality that is detrimental. They have such a poor track record, yet we still find ourselves relapsing back to unhealthy actions that leave us hurt in the end. Despite the inevitable heartbreak, why do we always go back?
My hypothesis about why we do this is because as humans, we are creatures of habit. Therefore the air of familiarity of an ex is appealing. Even if we know we don’t like how they treat us, at least we know what to expect and don’t get blindsided. We also go back to these people because it’s the easier option. It’s easier than trying to be open to a new relationship and start all over again.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try, some things are not meant to be. Loving someone is not enough to change them. It’s a hard concept to grasp, but some relationships are not salvageable and not worth fighting for, especially ones that at the end of the day hurt over and over again. No one said it’s easy to stop going back to toxic partners, but you have to remind yourself that you deserve someone who doesn’t cheat or that is there when you need them.
So take the time to focus on yourself and being fulfilled without ties to another person. Appreciate the friends and family that genuinely care and have your best interests at heart. And when you’re busy caught up in doing you, the right person will unexpectedly pop up out of nowhere and will treat you the way you deserve. You’ll look back and wonder why you even put up with someone not worth your time in the first place.