Being a full-time college student is hard. Classes are tough, homework is stressful, exams happen week two…but we learn by doing. We go to SloDoCo all night before our midterm and we ace our test, we spend hours in the UU and the library studying with our friends, we show up almost on time to almost all of our classes…but here’s the catch: we also have full time jobs.
I’ve now experienced two lives. I’ve been a full time student with no job at all, and I’ve been a full time student with a full time job(s) on top of extracurriculars. Let me be clear: it is not easy. It has been a real struggle for me to figure out how to balance work, school, clubs, and relationships, all on top of making sure I am taking time for myself.
Before I begin, here are my credentials: I work full time as a shift lead at a retail store downtown. I work once a week as a front desk employee for Headstrong Fit. I am the Social Media Specialist Student Assistant for Kennedy Library. I am the president of the Cal Poly chapter for the nationally-recognized online women’s magazine, Her Campus (this). I am a full-time student majoring in English and completing the Technical and Professional Communications certificate. I assist in UGC for different companies in SLO. On top of that, I value going to the gym and lifting about six times a week, I try to spend time outside, I like to read, I have a long term boyfriend, and I have lots of relationships I care to maintain. Your girl is also 21 and likes to get a cute little cocktail every now and then.
Here is my advice for students in similar situations.
Get a planner. I seriously cannot stress this enough. When I am able to write out my week down to the T, it saves me. I plan out my days from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed (I always try for my eight hours but often settle for less) and I have found it to be a tremendous help. Write out when your classes are, when your club meetings are, when your work is, but also set aside time for yourself. Block out chunks of time for studying, for going to the gym or going on a walk, for reading ten pages of your book, or for watching an episode of that show you’ve been meaning to get to (please watch I Love LA). You will thank your future self because you know roughly when and how you will have time for everything.
Take a day off! One of my biggest problems is that I cannot for the life of me take a day to myself. If I get scheduled off one day and I don’t have class, it is a signal to me that I should pick up a shift. Don’t do it. I’m really working on this so you aren’t alone if you feel guilty for taking a day to yourself—but do you hear how crazy that is? You deserve a day off.
Utilize your days off. Now this makes taking a day off more important. I believe that you can use your days off to really enforce the balance that I am talking about. Spend half of your day doing the productive things: catching up on that laundry that you’ve been meaning to do, clean your dishes that have been sitting in the sink, meal prep so you don’t have to worry about it later on. Spend the other half doing things that fill your bucket: watch the sunset at the beach, read some of your book, get dinner with friends…the possibilities are endless. If you need some time alone, take this as your opportunity to reset and spend the day with yourself doing things you enjoy. If you want to take this as your opportunity to fill up your social bucket, spend time with a friend you haven’t had time to see or a partner you haven’t been able to go on a date with recently! Do what is best for you and your body, mind, and soul will thank you.
Share your calendar with friends. I know it sounds kind of intense, but making a shared calendar with your friends, partner, and/or roommates is so helpful as someone who is always busy. It has allowed me to find time in my busiest days to grab coffee or lunch with a friend or have a night in with my roommates that I probably wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t seen our schedules line up! This will keep your social life alive without burning you out.
Try to get a job that you like. Having a job that I actually like has made balancing everything out a lot easier for me. At all three of my jobs, I work with coworkers that make my job feel like a paid hang-out, my shifts feel short because I like what I do, and I have bosses that are very understanding and easy to work with. That being said—I understand that is a unique situation. It is not always easy to find a job that you really like, let alone three, but what I do believe is that you can change your mindset to make it more tolerable. I used to be very pessimistic at other jobs and would constantly complain about everything, until I realized that mindset is everything.
Be very clear with your superiors. I have found that being vocal about what kind of assistance or leniency you need as an employee and as a student is much easier. Again, I know that this is not the case for everyone, but I still highly recommend trying. Right when classes and employment start, make it clear to your manager or teacher that you are both a full time student and a full time employee. If you are putting your best effort forward in class and at work, it is much more likely that they will be more lenient with your schedule and your assignments.
Meal prep. Maybe it’s the gym-rat in me that helps me heavily prioritize this, but it will make your life so much easier. If you’re running late in between class and work, it will be the most relieving feeling to see that container of lemon chicken orzo (my recent favorite) you can grab and heat up on your 30 instead of spending $30 at Seeds. I tend to section off a day in my week where I know I will have time to go grocery shopping and make all my meals for the week to help myself out, so I highly recommend it. Meal prep article coming soon I guess…?
Communicate. Communication has always been important within relationships, but I have found it to be even more so since I fell into this hectic schedule. Try to express to your friends and your partner that you are not often available, but would love to make time for them when you are free. I have found it to be really difficult to hangout with people on a whim, so I have tried to make it abundantly clear to my roommates and friends that it’s nothing personal, because I would love to hangout. It is just easier for me to have a set date and time when we can hangout so I am able to try and work my schedule around them. The same goes for my boyfriend. I have found that to be a bit easier to navigate because we are both extremely understanding in terms of busy scheduling, and for that I am forever grateful. He knows that I don’t have much free time but can also recognize that I want a designated portion of it to be spent with him. Don’t be afraid to vocalize your stress, your schedule, and your feelings, in order to maintain the relationships that you hold near and dear to your heart.
Get comfortable with saying no. This is something I have really been struggling with. However, saying no is important too. That might mean turning down a shift that has opened up, not being able to make it to wine night with your friends, and not over-explaining yourself. Although I think it is important to communicate, I don’t think that you need to over-explain why you need a day to yourself. You deserve to take a break. (And to not feel guilty for it).
Check in with yourself. I often find myself going weeks without checking in on myself, which is a big no-no. Because, when this happens, I find myself feeling all of the feelings one day where it all becomes too much and I, for lack of better words, freak out. It’s not fun and I think it can be avoided with a simple check in, even once a week. How are you feeling? Is your work-school schedule manageable? Have you been getting enough sleep? Have you been setting aside time for your social life? What is the last nice thing you did for yourself? Check in with you!
These all might sound easier said than done, but they have all been really helpful for my busy schedule over the past few months. It has definitely taken me some workshopping to figure out what works for me, and despite the fact that I am nowhere near perfecting it, I am one step closer than I was before. I am proof that you can do it too. Remember why you are doing all of this—think of the bigger picture. It will remind you that there is an end goal for all of your hard work now, even if you forget about it sometimes.
You are not behind. You are not a bad friend, you are not a bad partner, you are not a bad student. You are doing a lot– period. You are allowed to be proud of yourself and you are allowed to be selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself. Balance is really difficult and it’s not going to be easy, but there are ways to make life a little bit less stressful.
You are doing just fine.