How To Be Assertive (Without Coming Off as Pushy)

Women have been getting a lot of heat these days for the way we act. But we don’t have to be aggressive when we are assertive. Here are some ways we can change this:

1. If you are in an argument, speak your mind only when your retort is clearly thought out.

Reason: Oftentimes when we are angry, we say things we don’t mean.

If we need something from this person, or need to maintain a healthy relationship with them, you can’t just take back something bad you said. Think before you say something you’ll regret later. Take a few minutes to think about what they said, what you want to say and the best way to say it to them. This has an added bonus of you sounding well spoken even if you are upset.

 2. Communicate in a way they understand, not in the way you understand.

Reason: Communication classes will teach you that in order for people to understand what you are trying to get across, they want to hear it in their lingo.

People don’t understand concepts the same way. To get things done, we need to understand how they work. Obviously this only works for people who we know well, but try it. If you ask for help and try to appeal to what would make you want to help someone, they might respond in an unexpected way.

 3. Avoid using fighting words.

Reason: Using words that typically get a rise out of someone will almost always lead to an elevated argument. If you really want a fight, start blaming people and victimizing yourself. People typically don’t like it when you try to make yourself seem like a victim and this could lead to negative feelings about you. You can also tell someone what you want without being aggressive and demanding it.

Men have negative feelings towards women because some women are assertive but are perceived as too aggressive. Let’s try to reverse this idea and be assertive, while also achieving our goals!