Whether you love working out or really hate it, there are a few universal things you’ll think while you’re at the Rec center. Here are just the top 13!
1. Why the f**k am I here?
You pout down those stairs like they’re the stairway to hell as you drag your heels and force yourself to keep walking. You’ve probably considered faking a fall, praying for a lightly sprained ankle that would justify skipping your workouts for a week. If you hadn’t eaten three brownies slathered in peanut butter, Nutella and ice cream last night, the workout would feel a lot less necessary.
2. Can everyone tell I don’t come here often?
Not only is it painfully clear that you’re way less in shape than everyone else at the Rec, but the fact that you still haven’t memorized your code makes you look even more pathetic.
3. Is it obvious that I’ve walked around the entire gym multiple times because I don’t know where the hell the machines are/I’m procrastinating actually doing something?
Your gym at home was small and mostly filled with old people. All your favorite machines were grouped together perfectly and no one would ever be using the one you wanted. Now, you’re looking like a damn fool because nothing is where it should be forcing you to aimlessly wander around.
4. That girl looks like she’s here all the time.
First of all, f**k you. You didn’t even know it was humanly possible to have a waist that tiny with an ass so fat before you saw her.
5. Where are my hands supposed to go while I run on the treadmill?
This whole thing feels extremely awkward and forced. It doesn’t help that every attractive, graceful, blonde girl in the school is next to you making you look like you’re being chased by bees down a mountain while they’re prancing on the white sandy beaches of Mexico.
6. WHY IS EVERYONE LESS SWEATY THAN I AM???
Everyone else is glowing and rosy while you’re out here looking like you just fell in a fountain. Trying to casually wipe the sweat from your hands onto your pants is pretty much useless at this point. Where is it all coming from???
7. OHMYGOD I loveee this playlist!!
The iconic playlist you made in high school with Candy Shop, My Chick Bad, Kiss Me Thru the Phone, Smack That, Low, DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, I Just Had Sex and many more will power you through your workout. If Promiscuous Girl doesn’t play at least once per workout, you are doing something majorly wrong.
8. Is that cute boy checking out my ass?
You did not come to the gym to meet guys, but you can’t help but notice that some of them are insanely hot. It feels really good when someone checks you out too… until you look in the mirror and realize he was probably just eyeing your butt sweat.
9. Maybe if I watch Netflix, it’ll go by faster.
It feels like everyone’s judging you for watching Food Network, but in reality, they’re probably just hungry. You’ve already start thinking about all the snacks you’re going to deserve after all this exercise.
10. I don’t really know how much weight I can lift but I don’t want to look weak and like I never do upper-body (which you don’t).
You just grab some 20s but realize shortly after that you can do approximately three reps before experiencing pain I can only compare to your shoulder slowly ripping itself out of its socket.
11. Why can’t I remember any ab workouts off the top of my head?
Thank god you’re constantly screenshotting Cosmopolitan workouts and keeping them in a “Workout” album on your phone that you totally always use.
12. Alright, it’s been enough time to leave without being embarrassed.
In reality, it’s probably only been about 20 minutes but you worked up enough of a sweat to look like you were working hard.
13. Do I have a six pack yet?
As you’re getting ready to leave you take a quick look in the mirror to see if any muscle has already appeared. Even though it definitely hasn’t, you feel like it has. I think you should go home and get some rest for the next, oh, six months.