Have you ever been stuck in a funk where it seems like everything around you is changing so rapidly? With the end of the semester around the corner, I often feel like it is difficult to keep up with everything, especially with things that have been happening in my personal life and trying to stay on top of my busy college schedule. Over the past couple of weeks, it has seemed like every time I have come to accept and start healing from something that hurt me, annoyed me, stressed me out, or overall just caused some sort of chaos in my life, something new comes along. In the beginning, I felt like I had to try as hard as I could to manage everything going on, but I have come to realize that some things you just can not control.
Do you know that feeling where it just seems like it would be easier to just give up on a class or an assignment? Yeah, I have been there several times over the past couple of weeks. At least, more than I normally would. Somehow it feels like whenever I am going through something in my personal life, my professors pile on more assignments than I would normally receive, which obviously only adds more stress to my life. In moments like this, when I would feel like the world was against me, I would often get angry at myself for putting so much pressure on me. Usually, this exasperation with myself leads me to be in a bad mood or feel drained. Nevertheless, I was in for a brutal surprise when I realized that holding all of that anger and frustration in for myself to cope with did not serve me in the slightest.
Over the past year, my life has definitely been a rollercoaster. From transitioning to college, and dealing with personal mental health issues, as well as relationship troubles, it felt like I could never catch a break. I was so busy trying to get all the moving pieces of my life together that I forgot to take care of myself in the process. I was stretching myself thin trying to please people, stay on top of school, and stay in control of everything going on in my life. It made me miserable. People close to me began to notice that my mood was different and I was not acting like myself.
Eventually, through conversations with people who I trusted and who knew me really well, I realized that I was so busy trying to control everything around me that I was forgetting about myself in the process. Learning to say no to things I would usually force myself to do, feeling relaxed rather than feeling guilty when I was not being “productive” in my downtime, and distancing myself from unhealthy situations in my life were all extremely difficult processes, but I did it. As the pressure began to be alleviated and I came to terms with not needing to be in control of every single detail of my life, I feel like I have been able to prioritize myself much more.
Life will never be perfect and trying to make your relationships, schoolwork, and personal life perfect will cause you more harm than good.
Now, I wish I could give you a list of tips and advice on how to perfectly control everything in your life that is causing you pain, anger, or stress. Would that not be amazing? The truth is that I am nowhere near getting there myself, nor do I think I want to figure it all out. I have begun to shift my perspective on trying to control things from trying to please everybody, get everything done well and on time, to accepting my best. Life will never be perfect and trying to make your relationships, schoolwork, and personal life perfect will cause you more harm than good.
Although I am still in a place in my life where I am coming to accept that I cannot always be in control, I would never have been able to have made it this far without the people who have supported me along the way. Surrounding myself with supportive and loving people has been the driving reason why I have been able to get out of this funk and start working on myself. If there is one thing I hope you take away from this is that it is okay to not always be in control, stuff happens, life happens, but no matter what, don’t forget about yourself!