When you’re a college student, there is no way to escape the topic of relationships. Relationships are everywhere! You want to go to the park for a nice calm walk? It is highly likely that you’ll see at least one couple walking around and holding hands. Want to go see a movie? Odds are that movie has some sort of romance in it. In fact, TV (and other mainstream media) have much to blame for society’s standards on relationships. Romance movies especially give us idealized fantasies about our own relationships. “Noah wrote Allie 365 letters and you can’t even send a text back!” Through the influence of movies and TV, Society has the tendency to label athletes, bad-boys, and class clowns as being the “types” that women all swoon over. That may be true in some cases, but what ever happened to valuing quality personalities? On the other hand, mainstream media also paints a picture of what should be considered “sexy.” The result? Sex (and anything related to it) are overhyped to a large degree in society. Don’t get me wrong – this is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it is also important to not lose sight on other aspects of relationships that are also incredibly important.
Everyone has their own standards and considers different things to be #relationshipgoals. Although this makes it difficult to collectively sum up the view of college women, there are still many traits that we agree are “attractive.” Humor is a major attractive quality in a guy, as CLU student, Eliza Weber, says “It [having a quality sense of humor] shows that a guy is able to take things lightly, when he can laugh at something it’s attractive. If he laughs with me that’s a good thing.” Compassion is also incredibly important to many college women. Not only does it show that he cares about your feelings, but it also shows that he has empathy and maturity which hints at a strong moral character. CLU student Lauren Garrett asserts the importance of compassion; “if you were secure in your own self, then you would have no issue approaching someone who is more vulnerable than yourself.” Good manners are also an unbeatable trait to have. What lady loves a guy who doesn’t have manners? Lack of manners means a lack of proper treatment which can go wrong on so many levels. Chelsea Dunmire believes that manners are important and that it is attractive when a guy can “treat his momma right.” There is nothing that hints how he will treat you more than how he treats other women in his life. As in every relationship, kindness is arguably one of the most important traits. Kindness is attractive as CLU student, Cristina McQuillen, argues he needs to “treat others well” because “if he treats other people bad it may foreshadow what could happen in the future”. Above all, college women are looking for a man to show that he genuinely cares about her. Whether it be a cute post on Instagram, a small surprise or a nice text message, it is extremely important for any college woman, or any woman in general, to be assured that they are cared about. That’s the whole purpose for a relationship anyway!
While looks are substandard to a genuinely nice personality, they can also go hand in hand. For example, Lauren Garrett states that “an athletic build is a 10/10 every time because it vibes capability” with capability comes hard work and ethics which are very attractive qualities. Cristina McQuillen and Claudia Pasillas both claim that eyes are the most attractive part in a guy; Eliza Weber agrees, stating that “eyes are the window to the soul.” If a guy has nice, friendly looking eyes then it is easier to trust him. Chelsea Dunmire says that good hygiene and a healthy body are attractive. How can he take care of you properly when he can’t even take care of himself? A nice smile can also make women melt because it is genuine and friendly. Plus, we are going to make guys smile a lot right? There’s no use being with someone whose smile you don’t like. LOL
I normally don’t like to brag about my own relationship because I understand how it feels to constantly see others brag about theirs. Trust me, I have been there as many of my close friends were in relationships and shared their stories and experiences. As happy as I was for them, I couldn’t help but wonder at times “would this ever happen to me?” Throughout high school I went on several dates with different guys but I never had a serious boyfriend. When college came around, I stubbornly declared that I did not want a relationship because that would distract me from my studies. Then one day during winter break, my best friend asked if her boyfriend could be included in our New Year’s Eve tradition that year. As a lighthearted attempt to get even with her, me and some of my other close girlfriends challenged that she couldn’t have a New Year’s kiss unless we all had one too! That is likely one of the main reasons why me and my boyfriend are currently in a relationship. My best friend arranged my New Year’s kiss with one of our good friends, Matthew. As it turns out, both of us “caught feelings” for each other before New Year’s Eve – when we had our first kiss. Since we were already friends, we knew each other well enough that I was comfortable around him. Besides, he had even seen all of my awful, ugly snapchats and that didn’t influence him not to like me! Relationship goals!? LOL I had to break my stubborn declaration to not be in a relationship and I am so glad I did! He has so many traits I look for in a guy. We are able to have fun and joke with each other, while we are also able to hold serious conversations. He has even put in incredible effort to show he cares about me; by, among other things, composing a song for me on the piano as well as driving over 40 miles in rush hour traffic on a Friday night to meet me for dinner. I’m definitely very lucky to be his girlfriend, but I don’t want to share this to prove that. I just want to share my experience to show that there is nothing wrong with staying true to yourself. I was never in a serious relationship in high school because it never felt right with anyone. I’m proud that I was confident enough in myself as a single woman that I knew I did not need a relationship. If you stay true to yourself and your wishes, it will allow you to find out what really matters to you when it comes to relationships. This just made it even more special to finally find someone who I knew would be an incredible boyfriend – and I was right!