When I was a kid, my heart always followed where the music was. From daydreaming to the music in ballet class to singing along to my iPod on long road trips, there was something about music that pulled me in and made me want to learn more about the genre. For a long time, I simply listened and danced along to music, but it wasn’t until my brother’s Rock Band video game that I was inspired to jump into the world of music and pick up my first instrument: a glittery red guitar.
For the next four years, I learned how to play electric guitar every Tuesday and Thursday evening. I learned the classics: from “Jet Airliner” by the Steve Miller Band, to “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett, and everything else in between. I often held mini recitals in my family’s living room. Playing the guitar became one of my favorite ways to express myself. Sure, I loved to dance in ballet class. However, when I sat down in that back room of the guitar shop with my teacher, I felt like I was truly home. This feeling still sticks with me even now, way further down my musical journey.
Moving on to middle school, I had another major musical shift: I transitioned from the gruffy, harsh vibes of the electric guitar, and slid over to the smooth, delicate sounds of playing the viola. If you’re reading this and don’t know what the viola is, it’s like a smaller cello or a bigger violin, though they look very similar. At first, I felt confused and nervous to go from playing one instrument by myself to mixing and blending into an orchestra. But music is still my home… with a different front door on it. In orchestra class, I was able to make friends and play with others in mini trios, which helped me discover my purpose both inside and outside the classroom. I started to feel more comfortable with performing in concerts, and in those rough years of middle school, my instrument was always a source of safety and security.
As I moved on from middle school, I took my viola skills with me to a new neighborhood. However, I wasn’t afraid. I still had many of the same friends from middle school with me and I now loved to perform. In high school, I was proud to perform at festivals. When we won first place in sophomore year, I discovered a new type of euphoric pride. It was the kind of communal pride that was shared among a team: a sense of teamwork and love for one another. As my friends and I put it back then, “We did it! I can’t believe we did it!” To this day, I still look back on these memories with a fond sense of shared nostalgia among my fellow orchestra friends, and I’m eternally grateful for the role that orchestra played in my life. Not only did I grow in my musical skills, but I also gained the powerful and incredibly rewarding feeling of being a worthy and compassionate team player.
In addition to viola I also began to start sharing my love to sing, which also helped me become confident in my music skills. By opening myself up to using my voice, I was able to directly tell stories with my words and found myself opening up in a more vulnerable and honest way. I usually covered emotional ballads, which was also useful in helping me control my emotions in a healthy way. I could address how and what I was feeling, express it in a beautiful way, and then move on.
Music has influenced many aspects of my life, but I think the most impactful was my self-esteem and confidence. Throughout my childhood, I always felt connected to music, and now it feels like a second skin to me. Without music, I don’t think I’d be the same outgoing, friendly, confident and assertive person that I am today, and I can’t wait to see where music will lead me next.
All Photos are courtesy of the author.