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College schedules are hard enough to balance work, classes, and friendships all at once. Life is exciting and often really unexpected sometimes but your friends are there to help and support you. Right? 

Now many of you, no matter what grade or age, might be probably thinking, “But Olivia I don’t have friends.” I even said that too, but that is not the case. No matter where you are or who you have met, you have friends even if they’re just acquaintances. A friend doesn’t have to be someone you hang out constantly with, text every day, or even help out 24/7. Friends can just be the ones who show up to support you when you need them the most.

We put so much expectation on friendships especially in college due to past friendships we’ve had in high school or failed ones that we weren’t too happy with. But, you have to remember that your friends are going through the same things you’re going through and are finding it just as hard to balance their friendships as well. Just because you and your friends don’t hang out as much as last year or don’t hit each other up to talk often doesn’t mean they still aren’t your friends. However, unless they’re being toxic or simply showing bad characteristics that a friend shouldn’t do to you then that may be when it’s okay to not call them a friend. 

I recall talking to someone and they told me “I don’t have time to make new friends.” And I partially agreed with that person but I explained that you don’t have to always devote all of your time to that ONE friendship ONLY. A lot of the people in my classes are my “friends” that I’ll talk to during class or hang out a little bit together after class. But most of the time, this doesn’t really change and that’s okay. We still all say hello to each other outside of class or even agree to a study session at Starbucks once in a while. Maintaining friendships doesn’t mean that you have to spend an extended and emotionally draining period of time with them getting to know their deepest darkest secrets. Even if you are just acquaintances and just plain nice or very helpful to one another, then I personally would consider them a friend. 

Friendships in college come and go, and you are most likely not going to have the same group of friends as you did freshman year of college. And that goes for high school too, but I wouldn’t sweat it too much. We go through so much change and developmental growth in our lives that it’s hard to keep up with the relationships we have with everyone in our lives. 

If you’re sitting here, telling yourself that you don’t have time to make new friends or you can’t invest more into your current friendships, you are WRONG. There is time for EVERYTHING, even if you are the busiest person in the world. I promise you that if you MAKE TIME for these things, even if it were a short hangout or quick call to a friend to check in, it is still considered being a friend. 

If you’re like me though, you’ll probably sit on your bed alone in a room one weeknight and cry because you “don’t have any friends” or “no one is asking me to hang out”. Yes that can be sad and we can get down about it but, that’s life. Deal with it. Growing up, there are going to be plenty of opportunities to hang out with friends, get invited to events, or even make new friends. You are still so young and just because you aren’t doing anything on a Saturday night, you still have no right to compare yourself to someone else. 

A word of advice too, friend groups are overrated so please don’t stress out if you don’t technically have one in school. I don’t or at least I don’t think so, but I’d rather help multiple very good friends rather than a constant group of best friends. You might be going, “That’s overwhelming, I can’t do that!”. Trust me I said the exact same thing just as you did. There are so many people in your life that you have met or have yet to meet who are there for you and who WANT to be there for you. So stop saying that you don’t have friends because you most likely do. Even though I don’t know everyone who reads my articles, I’m still a friend to you too, and will always be here for you!  

Olivia Madera

Cal Lutheran '25

Hi, my name is Olivia Madera and I'm a writer/editor for Her Campus Cal Lutheran! I'm majoring in communications (with an emphasis in journalism) and minoring in film/tv. I love to read, write, bake, and travel (especially to the beach)!
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