When I decided I wanted to live on my own, I knew that things were going to be different for me, and not just because I have a disability. Until I moved into my own studio in the middle of January, I always lived with at least one other person. Granted, I always had my space in my own room to do with as I pleased, but I never really had to be completely self-reliant until this year. Here are some things I’ve learned in my first month living solo:
1. Silence can be weird
I come from a big family. I have 10 cousins, most of whom are all under the age of 12. I’m so used to people coming and going, I’m used to the sounds of laughter and TVs turned up to the highest volume. Admittedly, living in Trinity Hall has provided me with a certain comfort level when it comes to noise, but even so there’re times when the silence creeps me out. I can’t yell to my grandparents in the next room or hear the sounds of The Rachel Maddow Show from the living room. Luckily though, I turn on Netflix or Spotify to help combat the feeling of weirdness silence sometimes gives me.
2. You are solely responsible for ALL of your belongings
Usually when I lived at home, I would occasionally forget things before going out somewhere. As sad as it is to admit, I would do my best to blame it on another person or another circumstance in order to avoid looking like I was irresponsible. The truth is, living alone has taught me the importance of being alert, aware, and competent. Honestly, this is something I am still learning and I can’t pretend that by living on my own, I’m cured of any irresponsibility, but now I definitely keep in mind the things that I can afford to just leave in my apartment, especially if I’m traveling across campus and I won’t be able to get back to retrieve a certain item. If I do forget something (which, yes, has already happened a month in), I kick myself at the end of the day because I know that I knew better.
3. Your space is YOUR space
It’s funny because when I lived at home, I didn’t really understand the concept of keeping things clean. I would always hear that it was important because it’s my space and my room, but I still didn’t listen. Now that I have my own little humble abode, I try to keep it as clean as possible, which, if I’m not “pleading the fifth”, is harder than I anticipated. However I will say that it is extremely gratifying to come in to my apartment after a long day of classes and socializing, and realize that everything in there belongs to me and that I have made it my own.
4. You will get lonely. Let it happen.
Like I mentioned above, I come from a pretty big family and I’m used to people coming and going at all times. When I first moved into my apartment I was overwhelmed by the excitement of it all so I didn’t really have time to “miss” my family as much. I was just happy to be in a space that accommodated my disability and was all mine. After a few days, though, it got quiet and my atmosphere changed quickly. Even though my family only lives about 15 minutes from campus, the adjustment has taken longer than I imagined it would and I’ve learned that that’s totally okay. Since moving in, I probably call my family at least twice a day without really having a reason to call other than I need to hear my grandma’s voice, which is weird considering I lived in Davis, California for six months, eight hours away, and I didn’t call nearly as much as I do now. I’ve gotten better though, especially recently since I’ve made more friends on campus.
5. You will be okay
Living by myself has definitely been challenging in so many ways because I’m simply not used to it. Little things have gone wrong and I constantly find myself in ruts for one reason or another, and while I could easily call my grandparents to come save the day, I try to remind myself that this is my journey and if something goes wrong, I have to be prepared to fix it myself, but no matter what I’ll be okay.
It has only been a month and I have learned so much about living alone and learning to trust myself again. It has been a month of stress, silence, and strange bouts of serious withdrawals from my favorite pug, but I am doing life living on my own and I love it.
*Photos provided by Miranda MacDonald.