The act of growing up can be more mentally exhausting than one can prepare for. This is why people form their own coping mechanisms to make hardships somewhat manageable. Growing up around the love for writing, I began to use this to my advantage by writing down my thoughts and what happened in my life. One day I decided to write as if I were writing a letter to the specific person who impacted my life, but not actually give it to them. Ever since that day, I started using this technique as my way of getting through obstacles in my life.
Although writing may not be the best form of releasing emotions for everyone, it definitely has its perks that other forms cannot provide. When writing these letters, address the person by their name or using words such as “you”. This helps to feel as though the person is actually listening and hearing what they did wrong. It’s important to understand that the goal of writing the letter is to help yourself understand your own feelings. It’s one thing to confront the person, but different to simply write down how they made you feel. Writing down feelings allows a person to comprehend the cause and effect of a situation, which in the end creates a healing process.
Another way to go about writing letters is for the topic to be positive. Releasing your feelings into a letter doesn’t mean it needs to be about something wrong or problematic. For example, writing a letter to a friend or significant other. It’s your decision to give it to them or not, but the significance of it is to write everything down that you feel. Doing so allows you to understand your perception of this person and the role they play in your life. This form of letter writing can also bring future reassurance when obstacles do come your way. You can write this letter, then read it when times are rough and remember that you have amazing people in your life.
Some days can be tougher than others and it simply doesn’t have to do with the people in your life. In this scenario, I’ve personally found it helpful to write a letter to myself. Write about what went wrong in the day, what went well, what you like and dislike about yourself or the day as a whole, etc. When writing to yourself, use your name when addressing the person in the letter, this helps to humanize yourself and realize not every day will be good. It’s important to write to yourself on the good and bad days, this way you can look back and normalize the conflict as well as appreciate the good.
Writing has been known as a coping mechanism for some time, also known as journaling. Letter writing is another form of this, just more detailed by addressing a person specifically. I have found this very useful in my everyday life because of its ability to make me feel heard. Although this can feel like you are ignoring conflict with a person, you are truly solving the problem within yourself. Letter writing helps with explaining people’s actions, as well as your own. I like to think that one day everyone who uses this letter writing technique, including myself, will send out the letters to each person we write to. Until then, take the time to write for yourself because you don’t owe anyone anything.