As a society, we have a problem with the way we portray and scrutinize women. Women cannot do anything without criticism, whether it’s dating a lot of people, dating no one at all, having a successful career, or focusing on raising a family. Successful female figures such as Taylor Swift are constantly subject to a double standard where they are criticized for doing things that men are allowed to do without anyone batting an eye. For years, Taylor Swift has had her dating life publicly scrutinized on the cover of every tabloid in the U.S. starting from the time she was in high school. Because she writes genuine music and often pulls inspiration from her own life–as many artists do–her relationships are heavily featured in her music. As long as I have been a fan of Taylor Swift, I have heard others criticizing her for her dating habits.
This past week, Netflix came under fire for writing a sexist joke about Taylor Swift’s dating history into the script of its show, “Ginny and Georgia” with one of the characters telling another character she goes through men “faster than Taylor Swift.” It still surprises me that a show like “Ginny and Georgia,” which actually tackles very progressive themes surrounding feminism, would include a line shaming a woman for her dating life. Taylor Swift herself was not happy with the line and tweeted about the irony of the fact that Netflix is the platform that has her “Miss Americana” documentary where she goes into great detail about the harmful effects that the media and public scrutiny has had on her career, her relationships, and even her health and self-esteem. She sarcastically finished her tweet by wishing Netflix a happy Women’s History Month.
These types of comments are made about Taylor Swift’s dating life all the time. People neglect to talk about her talent and success without bringing up her personal life as if somehow she is only famous because of the men she has dated. A common example of this is her relationship with John Mayer. She wrote one of her most heartfelt songs about how being mistreated and disrespected in a relationship and released it after they broke up. Although “Dear John” was not officially confirmed to be about John Mayer, John Mayer along with many others shamed her for sharing her feelings (which if you ask me, proves the song is about him, but I digress). The point is that every time a relationship of hers ended, it was blamed on her, and pretty soon, it became normal for her to be brushed off as the girl with a million exes. This type of attitude towards dating is harmful to young women to experience and internalize because it teaches them to be embarrassed about having a “past.” When we are young, it is perfectly okay to date multiple people, or even have a lot of past relationships. We are still learning who we are and what we want, and it is okay to not find that right away. We are always in control of our own lives and we do not owe anyone else an explanation for any “past” we might have.
This is why Netflix’s joke about Taylor Swift’s dating life fell flat for me. The journey to finding love is not one-size-fits-all. One person might have one partner and another might have twenty before they find the right one. This is why we should not be passing judgment on anyone else’s personal life. It is really no one else’s business and we would all be better off without worrying about other’s opinions on our choices.
