Know Your Worth

The so-called “cuffing season” is upon us and that means we will be seeing a lot more couples roaming around these next few months. Now, a good amount of you might not know what cuffing season is. I, myself, was not even aware of this word until recently, when I read a Her Campus article about it and it honestly makes perfect sense. So, let me enlighten you. This is the definition of cuffing season, according to Urban Dictionary: “During the fall and winter months, people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

 

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay

This time of year begins around October and most likely ends around March when daylight savings and spring arrive, ridding us of the cold weather as well as the need to be cuffed. When you think about it, cuffing season is almost six months long, which is way too much time for single people to force themselves into relationships just because it’s cold and they’re in the mood to cuddle. Believe me when I say that I am not opposed to affection, like cuddling - human connection and touch is vital to our existence - but sometimes, it doesn't have to be the only solution to the winter blues.

This concept, created based off the behaviors of people during this time of year, is really just a ruse to get us to conform to societal pressures. Society makes us believe that being in a relationship is the only way for us to be happy, but how can a person be happy with someone when they can’t even be happy with themselves? We like to throw ourselves into what’s new and trending, and ever since awareness of this term has risen, I’m pretty sure that the need to be in a relationship has too. I understand this behavior with any other trend, but with romantic relationships, the situation is different. We are dealing with our emotions, and those are fragile things that need to be tended to with care, not just tossed around from one person to the next whenever we feel lonely. This sort of nonchalant attitude toward relationships is what ruins the special and intimate connections that we form within them.    

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay

For too long, I’ve seen friends get out of relationships, curse that person and swear off all romantic interests, only to be on Tinder or Grindr the next day looking for their new shiny toy. I don’t understand how they could possibly invest themselves so heavily in a relationship only to move on so quickly when it’s over. Honestly, a person could get whiplash from doing this so often; I know I do, and I’m just a spectator. All I tell them to do is to just take a break from dating so desperately. We are humans, and there’s only so much heartbreak that we can take at once. Therefore, we must give ourselves time to process and heal before embarking on our next crusade.

If you are not ready to be in another relationship, then don’t do it. Regardless of what others may think, being single is not all that bad. In fact, it helps give you the time you need to better understand your needs. Once you are comfortable with yourself and know that you can take care of yourself, then maybe you can venture out into the dating world. After all, being in a relationship does not require both parties to be heavily reliant on each other. You can be strong and independent while in a relationship; weakness and dependence is not a requirement. Primarily, it’s about growing individually, but together, before any of the other perks that may come with it.

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Don’t sacrifice your own wellbeing and your beliefs just because society says you need someone. If you know something doesn't feel right with a person, then don’t commit to it and get out before you hurt them and yourself even further. You are not an object meant to be passed around from one owner to the next, and the same goes for any other person you meet. Know your worth. Your happiness starts inside of you, and you can’t let something like cuffing season convince you otherwise. When your feelings tell you that you are not ready for something, respect that and know that a relationship will find you when you accept that it's not vital to survival. Only time will tell. All you need to do is take care of yourself and your needs before anything else.