Sometimes it can feel like we need to be perfect. With social media influencing our generation and the generations after us it can be hard to remember that what we see is only a snippet of someone’s life, and that snippet is the very best. Social media has the power to give the illusion that some people, including your friends and peers, are living in “perfect worlds”. It can be easy to get jealous and frustrated as you scroll on your phone thinking about your own life. Sadly we can fall in the trap of comparing – your clothes with theirs, your social life with theirs, and the places they visit which are no doubt 100% aesthetic, fitting in with their beautifully edited pictures. We can feel that there are expectations to be the perfect student with high grades and activities outside of academics, the perfect child, the perfect friend or the perfect girlfriend/ boyfriend. But in reality we don’t live perfect lives and we are not meant to be perfect; it would be impossible to do so. Life is messy and confusing and colourful. Also in reality every person you meet is struggling with something whether you know it or not. I have three questions I want to ask you…
- How many times has someone asked you if you’re ok and you’ve replied with “I’m okay” or “I’m good” when you’re not? Maybe it feels like your world is crashing down and everything that can possibly gone wrong has, but your answer is still that you are alright.
I have. I’ve been in that situation where I’ve lied to whoever has asked and said that I’m fine when really I’m not and have been having a bad day. Why don’t we admit when asked? Do we feel like a burden if the answer is you are not ok?
- Have you ever been in a situation when someone has confessed or told you something that surprised you? Maybe they’re lonely or are feeling depressed but you had no idea.
I have. I’ve had friends admit something to me or tell me something which is the complete opposite to what I thought.
- How many times have you seen a complete stranger look sad? Or had an angry assistant serve you?
I have. I’ve been a situation where I thought I did something wrong despite sharing very little to no conversation with them.
“Never underestimate the pain of a person because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”
Photo Courtesy of Pixabay
I read this quote recently and it got me thinking. We are all going through something and have our own struggles. Some will be bigger than others. Some people won’t mind sharing it while others will prefer to hide it and not let anyone know dealing with it by themselves. Whatever it may be, it doesn’t make it invalid and it’s ok. Particularly after the recent events in Thousand Oaks with the Borderline shooting and wildfires you might be dealing with an emotion or stress but feel like everyone else has moved on but I would bet money they haven’t and there is someone else feeling the same.
It’s ok to not be ok.
Humans are complicated and so is life. We have so many different aspects to balance; school, work, friends, family, relationships, relaxation time, hobbies, the list can go on and on. It would be impossible to have every aspect rosy coloured and all completely fine. Don’t ever feel like you must look a certain way or be a particular type of person to “fit it” or “be cool and trendy”. Let yourself be you. There are no rules saying your Instagram must have a theme or that you have to be in a perfect relationship by the age of 18 and let all your friends see. It simply does not exist.The idea of perfection we may have, is not real.
As we move into the holidays with bellies full from Thanksgiving food and gratitude from surrounding ourselves with people and things that we love, I ask you to be kind to others and remember that we all have a struggle somewhere that is lurking in our mind as we continue our day-to-day life. A little kindness, a smile, a genuine question of asking how someone is has the ability to go a long way.