Welcome to Ask Gumby, advice from the Regals of Cal Lutheran.
Gumby, or Enormous Luther, presides over the campus of California Lutheran University with his arms stretched wide to encompass everyone with his love and grace. This help column tried to remember these values in answering questions, so that every answer is considerate and supportive. We’re opening our arms to your questions!
In each article, there will be a question, submitted by a reader, and multiple different outlooks and opinions on what should be done in response to that question.
I have a small crush on a guy in one of my classes. I want to flirt, and drop hints, without being too forward. What’s your advice?
Dear Shy Girl,
Opinion One: First and foremost, it is important to know that if he is already seeing someone, it would be a good idea to respect this and back away from the flirting. If that is not the case then, simply just start talking to him. Start a conversation if you see him around: ask if he is understanding the class work, if you have a test coming up, ask if he would want to study for that. Before heading straight into flirting, do little things like mentioned above before going out for some heavy hinting. Most importantly, this needs to be gradual, start to get to know more about him. When you are around him smile alot, and be polite and extra kind.
Opinion Two: Also, its important to remember that flirting does not necessarily mean that someone is interested. Flirting happens in natural context all the time. He might just think you are very polite and become completely blindsided by the fact that you are flirting. Do not come off too strong. Test the waters and proceed with caution. If you feel like he might be interested you can become a bit more foward and see if he reponds back in the same way.
Opinion Three: When it comes to making subtle hints while not being too forward, here are a few things you can do: keep good eye contact when talking, make sure you cross each others paths, look your best, or compliment him. Be sure that you never degrade yourself in this process, have intelligent converstations with him and do not be too much of a tease. When you feel like you have tested the waters enough and he might be interested you can begin to glance down at his lips to show that you are interesed in kissing him, you can break the touch barrier. Make sure what ever you do, don’t make your self seem desperate because that is the last thing you want.
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