Welcome to Ask Gumby, advice from the Regals of Cal Lutheran.
Gumby, or Enormous Luther, presides over the campus of California Lutheran University with his arms stretched wide to encompass everyone with his love and grace. This help column tried to remember these values in answering questions, so that every answer is considerate and supportive. We’re opening our arms to your questions!
In each article there will be a question, submitted by a reader, and multiple different outlooks and opinions on what should be done in response to that question.
I’m a transfer student and my group of transfer friends excludes me from all activities. I just get forgotten even when I’m engaged in conversation and actively listening to what they have to see. I’m all in, so why am I being left out? I’m a fun person and I know they’re not mean people. Making friends here is very hard. -No Clever Name Just Sad
Dear Just Sad,
Opinion One: Making friends as a transfer student is particularly hard. Try to expand your friend group wider than just your transfer friends! Don’t ever change for them and if it isn’t working out, don’t take it personally! Also, if you really want to stay their friends, bring it up to them. Mention that you feel like you aren’t included and are never heard. They might not have even realized that was what they were doing.
Opinion Two: This is easier said than done, but you need to find more than one friend group. Having different friend groups is a great way to solve this. Make a group of friends in the same major or classes, that way you can create a study group. Join clubs that you have interests in, that way you will meet people who you have things in common and have a discussion about.
Opinion Three: No where does it ever say that you have to have a solid group of friends. Instead, you can hang out with people one on one. Even by doing this, you will meet other people through them and who knows you might have found your self your new group. Just work on building these personal relationships so then when you are in a group setting, people have already connected with you and will be less likely to leave you out.
Thank you for joining us for this Ask Gumby segment.