It is a truth universally acknowledged: a single college student in possession of free time must be in want of a date.
The solution, or so I’m told, is to join a dating app. But which one? That is the unsolvable mystery I set out to solve. I went through the torture of joining five dating apps so you don’t have to. You can thank me later.
The Sites: OKCupid, Bumble, EHarmony, Match, and Tastebuds.
Match (Cost: Too Much aka $133.92 for 6 months)
Let’s get this over with: I have nothing positive to say about Match.com except that they are really good at getting sites to think they’re great.
The Good:
- Ummm…they have a good marketing team? I’m impressed with their ability to sell their product?
The Bad:
- The bait: “No match in 6 months and you get another 6 months free!” Sure, I can pay a little more to have that assurance. WRONG. What they don’t tell you is you have to respond to or send out 5 messages every month in order to get this guarantee. What if you don’t find any matches you want to message? Too bad. Message five people you know you’ll never speak to again. Also, they don’t tell you this ever unless you click on the help section which I only did AFTER I’d been disqualified. Good going Match, way to be on the level.
- You’ll get daily emails with subjects saying “You have 24 new matches: PerfectMatch, Age 25 from Simi Valley, CA…see more” when, guess what? NO MATCHES. “We were unable to deliver any Mutual Matches to you today. To ensure you receive the best possible matches, please create your free profile or update the one you already have, and double-check that you haven’t been too restrictive with your matching criteria.” Every. Day. For. Weeks.
- I tried asking about it and the site said it’s because I didn’t go through my daily matches so they could identify my preferences. The question is, how can you go through daily matches that aren’t there?
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- The site also suggested I was too restrictive with how far away I’d be willing date and the age range, but without a car it’s ridiculous for me to ask for much further than an hour away (though I did extend it in the end), and a ten year age range seems pretty generous to me.
- When I did get matches they weren’t at all what I was looking for. I got 12 messages from men over 30 that did not fit what I marked in my preferences at all.
- My guess is that because of the cost, it is not easy to find younger guys on here.
- I haven’t given up, and have gone on daily for five weeks. Nothing. Not even a decent conversation.
The Entertaining:
- I briefly talked with a guy who had Star Wars bed sheets and his bragging rights were that those specific sheets were virgins. Yup.
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Overall
I think you can tell where I stand on this. eHarmony, which we shall get to at another date (pun intended), is the better paid option hands down. Match is deceptive in their emails and their practices and so far have not offered any good matches. Also, you don’t answer any questions outside of demographics so how they determine their matches is beyond my comprehension. It’s more about you digging through their thousands of users (one of their bragging points) to try and find the diamond in the rough. Might as well just go out.
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Some notes for the guys out there:
1. Don’t message someone who is clearly not a match. I said this in the last review and I’ll say it again. If you’re 45 and I say the oldest I want to date is 31? I mean the oldest I am willing to date is 31. Don’t try. Unless you’re just trying to get that 5 per month rule and then sure, have fun, just don’t expect a response.
2. Message first. I know, I know, it’s attractive when a girl takes the initiative but I’ve messaged guys and still get no response. It’d be nice to see some gentlemen take the lead occasionally- specifically gentlemen under the age of 30 and over the age of 20.
3. No picture with other girls without a caption. If I’m asking myself if that’s an ex, a current gf, or a sister, then I’m not perusing your profile anymore. Add a caption if it’s family and delete it if it’s not. We females have enough insecurities when it comes to dating as it is without comparing ourselves to some supermodel looking girl in your pictures. And cropping them out doesn’t count, we can tell that chest pressed against your arm at the edge of the frame is attached to someone.