It takes a special breed of human to voluntarily dedicate three or more years of your college life to volunteering, shadowing, researching, studying, keeping a 3.7 GPA, and preparing for a seven hour exam. These weirdoes, we like to call, premed. And here’s a list of the 10 types you’ll probably find roaming about the college campus or lurking in Ahmanson’s halls.
1. The I-know-exactly-what-I-want-to-do-and-where-I-want-to-go premed
These premeds have it all planned out. They know what their top choice med school is, second choice med school, third choice, and so on, and these students know exactly what their likelihood of getting into each is. These premeds know what type of doctor they want to be, they know their 4-year plan, and they know exactly when they will take the MCAT.
2. The I’m-just-good-at-science premed
These students did not go into college knowing they wanted to be a doctor. They are just one of the lucky few that are so perfect for the job, the job found them. They walked into General Chemistry and got an A in Butcher’s class. They loved studying mitosis and meiosis in Biology. And they just decided, “Hey, four extra years of something I’m good at? Sure, why not.”
3. The pretentious premed
No premed likes this premed. Actually, nobody likes this premed. They’re smart, and they know it. They brag about how little they studied and how well they did. They’ll answer all the questions in class and look down on you condescendingly as you claw your way towards a B+. “Oh…so you haven’t already studied bimolecular substitution reactions in high school? That’s just too bad…”
4. THE FREAKED OUT PREMED
This student IS ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT A TEST OR A QUIZ OR A HOMEWORK OR A PARTICIPATION POINT. This premed is at every single DA office hour. This premed knows exactly who to ask for help on everything, and they do all the homework in advance because they’re afraid that they won’t understand it in time. This breed of premed studies for exams weeks in advance, reads the textbook, and does extra problems. But no matter how well-prepared, or how smart, or how hard-working this premed is, he/she will ALWAYS be worried about something.
5. The no-fun premed
This premed has time for literally NOTHING else. This premed makes med school their life. Nothing is more important than getting a 4.0, having every clinical internship on the face of the planet, or shadowing every doctor from Westlake to Simi Valley. This pre-med has priorities, and med school is the only one. Don’t ask this premed to go out, because he/she will always be studying for something and everything.
6. The “I-really-don’t-think-you-should-be-a-doctor premed”
This is definitely the scariest premed. This premed is usually book smart and life dumb. I wouldn’t trust this premed to diagnose me with the common cold. Let’s leave it at that.
7. The extremely-well-rounded premed
This premed makes all other premeds jealous. They’re the captain of their sports team, part of the CCE (now Health Scholar) program, they’re amazing writers, currently shadowing a doctor, good at science, creative, intelligent, personable, do they play an instrument? Probably five. And—oh yeah—they work two jobs and have an amazing background story that makes every med school go gaga over them.
8. The “other”-major premed
This premed pisses all normal premeds off. This student chose some random major like English or communication, and then decided to make all their electives premed courses. Does this premed even LIKE science? We don’t know. Does this premed even UNDERSTAND that a science major would fit so much better? Probably not. This premed is messed-up and confused, but, hey, at least they have a completely polar opposite major to back them up if med school fails.
9. The goldilocks premed
This is, possibly, the most likeable premed: not too smart, not too clueless, but just right. This student wants to go to med school, but also wants to have a social life. This premed is good at balancing friends, school, and extracurricular activities without bragging about being premed or complaining about all the work they have to do.
10. The silent but deadly premed
This is the quiet assassin of pre-medicine. This student just sits in class, not answering any questions, not sharing his/her grade with anyone, and not studying in any groups. This premed isn’t necessarily the smartest in the class, but this premed has a drive. Hardly anyone knows he/she is even a premed because he/she doesn’t talk about classes or homework.
11. The overly confident premed
This is such an annoying person. This premed is going to Harvard. Have they even been accepted yet? No. But obviously they’ll get in. This premed thinks every class is an easy one, yet he/she is either right at or just below average. This premed makes you feel dumb, even when your level of intelligence is either equal to or higher than theirs.