As a second-semester senior in college, I’m no stranger to the competitiveness that seems to permeate every aspect of the education system. Each day, we’re reminded – usually by well-intentioned people – to be sure that we’re doing as much as we possibly can to set ourselves up for success. Have you had enough internships? Are you a member of enough clubs? Is your GPA high enough? These are the questions that constantly run through my mind on an endless loop like any new song that gets overplayed on the radio. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by pressure and get caught up in the bubble of your own thoughts.
If we’re not careful, this mentality of striving to achieve the utmost success can be dangerous. Having a good work ethic is extremely valuable and important, but being conditioned to believe that we need to pile copious amounts of obligations on our plates to be “successful” is counterproductive. It sets us up to believe that happiness and contentment are only attainable if we have enough to show for ourselves on our resumes – which is such a black-and-white way to live life.
Take this into consideration – in the midst of all the chaos of school and work, how often do you say the four words, “I’m proud of myself?” So many of us go through the day thinking about what we have to do and what we have to improve upon that we forget how lucky we are to even have opportunities placed in front of us in the first place. At the end of the day, if we can’t be proud of ourselves, then we’ll never fully be able to accept that same praise from others.
Angela Brown of Livestrong lays out attainable steps you can take to start being more proud of yourself immediately. She cites the words of Deepak Chopra, one of the most influential figures in the field of mind-body-healing, who says that that daily affirmation can do wonders for your health. While it may seem uncomfortable at first to give yourself compliments, it will eventually help retrain your brain to think more positively about yourself and the world around you.
Chopra also stresses how vital it is to rid yourself of negative influences in your life. The age-old saying of “misery loves company” is all too dangerous to fall prey to. Take a moment to assess the friends and acquaintances you choose to spend your time with and take note of how you feel after seeing them. Do you feel energized and ready to conquer the world, or do you feel stuck in a rut of negativity and self-doubt that leaves you feeling drained? I find that the latter is dangerous for my mental health because it validates all the negative emotions that I try so hard to overcome each day. While it can be beneficial to vent to your friends, make sure that you leave the interaction with a constructive plan to improve your situation, or else you’ll be stuck ruminating on everything in your life that needs to be fixed.
Finding time to reflect on and be proud of your accomplishments is not only liberating, but it also attracts more positive things to you in return. Think about it this way – we only have one life, one time frame to spend on this Earth. Would you rather spend your time berating yourself for all the areas you need to fix or celebrate all the things that you’re already excelling at? Finding your own voice and sense of self is instrumental to your happiness, especially at a young age. Every person in your life could offer you advice on what they think you should be doing and how you should go about doing it, but it’s truly up to you to decide what values you want to live by. If you can look uncertainty and doubt in the eyes and still choose to believe that you’re doing a good job – congratulations, you’ve just uncovered the key to success.