Children of divorce usually see things differently than those whose parents stayed together or had happy, loving relationships. However, being the child of divorced parents can teach you some very important lessons about life and relationships in general.
1. Things don’t last forever
As your parent’s marriage perfectly demonstrated, some things don’t last forever. In fact, nothing lasts forever.
And even though that may seem a little depressing, it’s a fact of life. It teaches you to appreciate the good things that you have while you have them and not dwell on the crappy hands you’re dealt or bad situations you’ve had to go through.
2. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away
That doesn’t mean giving up, it just means that some things cannot be saved no matter how hard you try.
You can’t force something to happen, especially a relationship. Things change, people change, people grow, people make mistakes and sometimes you and your partner just end up being two different people than when you started out. Those two people just aren’t right for each other anymore. And when it’s said and done, sometimes the best thing to do is walk away.
And that’s okay.
3. Honesty and communication are REALLY important
So many relationships ending fights stem from bad communication and dishonesty.
Seeing the way my parents communicated with each other, it was easy to see they didn’t always say exactly what they felt and sometimes lashed out instead of really communicating to each other what was wrong. I’ve especially learned how important communication is from my dad because it is something he really struggles with. I’ve seen how that affected his marriage, and now even his relationship with my sister and I.
4. You learn not to take relationships lightly
With your parents as an example you’ve seen firsthand that relationships are a hell of a lot of work, even with equal effort on both parts. Unfortunately, the reality is they don’t always work out.
You realize how special a good relationship is and that it should not be taken for granted.
5. You learn what you like and don’t like in relationships
Maybe you saw the way your dad would never open up to your mom and it made you realize that you need someone who will communicate their feelings with you.
Maybe you saw how your mom always put her kids firstat the expense of her relationship and that helped you see that if you ever have kids you need to work on a balance between your marriage and your children.
Maybe you saw your parents sleep in separate bedrooms for six years,and you realized that you need someone who’s going to fight for your relationship instead of just sitting around passively doing the same old routine thing they always have.
Maybe you realized that a healthy relationship is nothing like what you grew up with and you want to make sure yours does not end up like that.
Divorce is usually pretty messy and traumatic, but every cloud has a silver lining. There are goods and bads that come with relationships, problems and solutions. Every problem comes with a lesson, or in this case, five.