We are an oxymoron..
All of us are morons.
Clutching onto selfish feelings and denying the fact
that we all love to self serve,
and lick our own, self-inflicted wounds.
All the drama — We put on a show to attract
Someone’s.. Anyone’s attention…
And all for the consequences of receiving no applause.
I open my palms to you,
revealing my soft underbelly and I hope
and pray that you could give me those same sweet kisses
that I would give to you, without batting an eye..
But I am battered and beaten and scolded
for exposing too much about myself.
Put up more boundaries
Have more secrets,
but it would be wrong to withhold those secrets from me.
Never. Keep them from me.
Sweetheart, do not shield your face
when I raise my hand at you.
Don’t you know I would never hurt you?
And yet, I have learned to bite the hand that feeds me.
My boundaries that you so wished and willed me to have before,
you suddenly loathe.
But I was so young when you taught me to be afraid.
My mind, malleable, to accept and agree upon
all of your desires.
Sheltering me from the world, hiding me away like an embarrassing
black sheep, that you blamed me to be.
And when I broke free, striking out of the cage,
barrelling towards sunshine, and validity;
Nobody knew what to do.
For, I was ‘bitter’ and heartless for running.
I had the rest of me hidden away to never be found again.
I morphed and evolved as I learned more and more
from your own boundaries and secrets–
Quite like the ones that I was forbidden to have.
Do you like how much I scare you, now?
Years ago, I would have taken frightening as an insult.
Today, I am frightening because you have underestimated me.
Am I selfish?
No.
I am uncontrollable.