I’m more than sure we’ve all been told at least once that long distance relationships will never work. That they’re more likely to end in a nasty break up than in with an instant proposal and beautiful wedding bells. Then you also have everyone telling you to just don’t do it it’s trap (reference: my last statement). As someone who has been doing this long distance thing for a year or so, I think I can confidently say it’s not as scary as it seems. So here are the five things that being with my best friend has taught me that I’m sure others can agree on.
1. You Appreciate the Little Things More
As cliche as it sounds, it’s true. Now when I say little things I genuinely mean the smaller things. Not just good morning/good night texts, but also those random “I saw this on Twitter and it made me cry laughing and I want you to see it too” things. When it comes to our relationship I’ve found that there’s no better reminder that I’m loved and cared for than when he sends me a random batch of memes.
2. You Become a Master Communicator
Well, not really but it’ll seem that way. More likely than not, your counterpart will be far away from you because that’s just the hand you both were dealt. The distance doesn’t have to become a bad thing. Being so far apart has actually allowed me to be thoughtful when it comes to conveying my feelings. I’ve also learned to be more empathetic and ‘read’ him better. I’ve especially become better at listening to learn rather than listening to respond. Not being there physically forces us to find a way to be there for each other in ways outside of a good reassuring hug and properly communicating feelings and letting the other know they are supported and cared about comes at the top of that list.
3. You’re A Lot More Forgiving
Some would say that it’s a lot easier to hold a grudge against someone you don’t have to see every day, but the opposite has proved true. Mainly because you learn that time is never really on anyone’s side. Sitting and letting feelings fester works against everything you’ve built together and can ruin a good thing quickly. This is where being a master communicator comes in. Once you’ve learned to articulate all the things that bother you it’s easier to see where clear misunderstandings can arise and you’re more inclined to let it go. Plus studies show that being more forgiving is good for your overall health!
4. Your Gift Giving Skills Go From a 3/10 to 10/10
If you’re having to ship your gift cross country then you’re more likely to put some thought into what you’re buying. Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries are the perfect time to use those improved gift-giving skills. I’ve found that when deciding on gifts I want something that he’ll enjoy of course, but I also don’t want it to be generic because that gift becomes a little part of me that he gets to keep around even if I’m not there. Nobody loves anything more than a gift that clearly had a lot of thought put into it and isn’t from a generic shopping list.
5. You Learn That Love Transcends All
One of my current favorite quotes right now is from Bridgett Devoue, “Lust rushes but love waits”. If given a choice, you wouldn’t pick being a long distance relationship just for the fun of it. It requires a lot of planning and patience and self-restraint. You find that at the end of the day you do it all because you love them and you genuinely wouldn’t want a life without them in it. I won’t deny it’s not a lot of work, but at the end of the day, I realize I’m more than happy to do it and those times when we can see each other are just as amazing every single time.
Bonus content: Take this quiz to learn your love styles! Researchers say that a lot of good relationships end on account of not understanding each other’s love languages. Don’t let that be you!