Relationships don’t always end like they do in fairytales. Although there are many love stories that work out, very often there are a few that end in a breakup. Nasty or not, learning to be single again can be quite a challenge. Below are some tips for learning to love YOURSELF again.
Surround yourself with people you love, and the people you know love you
Friends and family are essential, given the circumstances, for helping you build up your confidence again. Push yourself to go out with your friends. It’ll ward off the “lonely” feeling, and you never know who you’ll meet on a night out. You should also definitely talk about it with a trusted source, like a mom, or a best friend.
Take time to get to know yourself again
Focus your attention back to your interests. Instead of moping, go back to painting. Or learn something new. Pursue an interest that you love, because it will help you rediscover parts of yourself that you may have forgotten along the way, in the relationship. Channel your negative energy into something useful, creative, or exciting.
Don’t be afraid to get dolled up, or dress down
Do what makes you happy. I’m a big believer in “look better; feel better.” Put on that highlight, get in that sexy skirt, and go. Or, if you need a minute, get comfy. Those sweatpants are calling your name. However you feel most comfortable and confident is how you should dress.
Write it out
Writing about how you feel is scientifically proven to help the healing process, clear your head, and expose the tiny details that you might have missed while in the relationship. Journaling leads to stories and is a creative gateway. It gives perspective.
Focus on the little things; they make up the big picture
Not every day is sad. Breakups are tough, yes, but you have to focus on the little things. You saw your friends in class. That’s a positive. You saw a flower, or the fall leaves changing color. That is another positive. Focusing on all of the doom and gloom will only make you feel worse. Focusing on the warmth of the sun’s rays or seeing a funny internet video will help you feel better.
Know. Your. Worth
This one is the most important. After a breakup, there are many feelings of insecurity, even if you are the dumper or the dumpee. Just because the relationship did not work out does not mean that you are invalid or worthless. You are worth so much more than you realize. And you are loved by so many. Take the time to heal, lick your wounds, and then come back on top. Never let other people define who you are. They don’t know you like you do.