Life offers so many wonderful things one of them being, love. The excitement of talking to someone new, going on your first date, the hugging and the kissing, and the inside jokes that can last a lifetime. Love can really add up to be some of the best memories you’ll have, but at the end of the day, not all love lasts, and that’s okay… until you’re in bed for the third day in a row with unbrushed hair and a half-eaten pint of ice cream on your bedside table. And although rocky road feels irreplaceable, when you finally reach the bottom of the tub, it’s most likely that your sadness will hit you full throttle for a second time with instant regret. But when you’re beating yourself up over that well deserved chocolatey goodness (if chocolate’s your thing), one thing that will never go away or be replaced is music.
I was inspired to write this after laying on the floor in the middle of my living room at 9 pm on a Monday evening with my dear friend who was in the middle of an intense breakup. I helped her through the healing process by blasting Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers on my roommate's small speaker. She left that evening with puffy eyes, but with no more flowing tears after we had finished singing our hearts out and talking about our feelings. That is exactly when I knew, this was going to be my first HC article.
In my opinion, music is the best healer in. the. World. It can be the hot sun of a summer’s day, as well as the freezing wind that nips at your skin in the winter. No matter what though, it is always there for every emotion, tear, laugh, and an embarrassing middle school dance. It’s always got your back. Lucky for you, I’ve curated a list of 15 songs divided into three stages to help you get over that ex-special someone. This one's for you, IC.
Stage 1: consists of five songs that represent sadness. The part of you that wishes the two of you never separated, but ALWAYS remember if it is meant to be it will. But man these songs hurt so well. (songs 1-5)
Stage 2: I know I just said to be the bigger person but… you’ve got to scream in order to heal. Welcome to stage 2, the angsty teenage year of healing. Get in your car, roll your windows down, and sing. (songs 6-10)
Stage 3: You are doing so good and I am so so proud of you. You have made it to stage three. This stage is where you remember the boss a$$ beauty queen that you are. You came into this planet without them and you can end this chapter of your life without them too. Put a clean sweatshirt on and get ready to throw all of their stuff out. (songs 11-15)
- Somebody Else- The 1975
Easily one of the top heartbreak songs of Gen Z. It puts everything you want to say into words, although you miss someone it does not mean it is right to get back together with them. It’s okay girl, you can cry.
- From the Dining Table- Harry Styles
“Even the phone misses your calls, by the way”. Ouch. Whatever you do, DON’T text them. This song is not to encourage you to reach out, but to allow you to feel your emotions and understand that even Harry Styles has felt this way. Remember, your emotions are completely valid.
- Skinny Love- Bon Iver
Bon Iver was put on this planet to make people cry and man is he a blessing. “I told you to be patient. I told you to be fine. I told you to be balanced. I told you to be kind.” As much as you can communicate with someone it may not always click and that is okay. Some things are better left unsaid.
- As the World Caves In- Matt Maltese
You may feel this song is romantic, and in some weird way it is, but trust me it is an e x c e l l e n t song to cry to (I know from experience). You may have expected to be with this person forever or even momentarily, but that doesn’t take away from the fact you at one point would do everything with and for them. Creating a new routine will be difficult, but you will be able to wake up one day and realize that even if the world caves in, you have yourself, and you are all you need.
- Godspeed- Frank Ocean
I feel this song is simply a no brainer to be on this playlist, especially at the end of stage one. Be the bigger person and wish them nothing but the best to move forward with their life. Take the positives and the things you gained from this relationship and use them to your benefit.
- Kyoto- Phoebe Bridgers
A personal message on my behalf to whoever inspired Kyoto. Thank you, but also what did you do to make Ms. Bridgers hurt so bad?? Be careful when singing this song, someone may actually think you want to kill someone. Valid, but most definitely not legal or the best thing to do.
- All I Wanted- Paramore
This is a sign to NOT cut, color, or shave your hair! Although Haley Williams did it, does not mean you should too even if that purple hair dye is on sale. You can catch me driving down the main street of my small town screaming to this song. It just gets better the more you listen to it, and even with enough practice maybe you can hit those high notes.
- Ironic- Alanis Morisette
This 1996 female anthem will forever live rent-free in my brain. Ryan Reynolds, thank you for this one. This song is for after all of your hours spent on investigating and connecting the dots… isn’t it ironic that the thing they told you to not worry about is the exact same thing they’re doing now. Crazy.
- Needed Me- Rihanna
They need you, not the other way around. Rihanna just knows how to make you feel like that bitch and that is exactly what you need right now. You are beautifully made of all things good. Maybe by yourself some flowers or put on a cute outfit, you are getting so close to being okay again!
- So What- P!nk
P!nk just never gets old, and especially this song. The perfect reminder that at the end of the day you are indeed still a rockstar. Keep rocking through those emotions baby.
- No Scrubs- TLC
The last thing a girl (and boy) ever needs in their life is a scrub. A scrub is someone who should not be getting any love from you and let me just tell you, your ex is most definitely a scrub. Do better.
- Midnight Sky- Miley Cyrus
Listen to the queen of redemption herself. “I was born to run, I don’t belong to anyone.” LISTEN! You don’t belong to anyone, you don’t owe anyone anything. Take this time for yourself!
- She’s so High- Tal Bachman
“She’s so high, high above me, she’s so lovely. Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite.” Did you hear that? You are a goddess. God tier of a woman. All of these women are strong and powerful and you don’t hear about their ex, so why should you ever hear or think about yours?
- Miss Independent- Kelly Clarkson
What is this feeling taking over? Are you getting over your ex? That is exactly what I wanna hear. Kelly Clarkson knew exactly what she was doing when she created this song and it's for encouraging you to embrace your independence. This time is for you to learn and love yourself and to finally welcome back independence into your life.
- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together- Taylor Swift
Need I say more?
YOU HAVE GOT THIS. Everything is going to be okay. Music and time heal wounds and like my beautiful role model once said, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriously, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.”- Penny Lane