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Mental Health

Healing Is Not Linear

Hi! My name is Isabel, and if you’ve been following me, you know I love to write about music, and that has been my main focus since I became a writer for Her Campus. This month, I decided to switch up my usual music articles to offer up some much-needed advice. This month, I’m getting more personal, challenging myself to dive deep and open up about my focus for March: Healing. As a Sex and the City fan and self-proclaimed expert, I often ask myself, What Would Carrie Bradshaw Do?

If you’ve seen an episode, you know that TV magic has a way of resolving most issues within a 45-minute time frame. Carrie narrates a hot topic that is lived out through her on-screen best friends, and all is resolved by the time the credits roll. No breakup, whether friendship or relationship, is easy; we’ve seen this played out with Mr. Big and Aiden Shaw. How does Carrie heal after a breakup? 

WWCBD?

Well, the first thing would be to buy a new pair of shoes, and the second thing would be to consult her three closest friends for advice. 

Healing, in real life, has no time frame and is often not a linear action. So while Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte can find humor in their situations and divulge them over a Saturday brunch, I have found myself in periods of hurt, sadness, and anger for weeks to even months at a time, without a fabulous pair of Manolo Blahniks to console a broken heart or fix my frustrations at the end of the day. 

Why is it hard to let go if something causes us pain? We contemplate the “what if’s.” What if I stay? What if things change? 

Well, what I’ve learned is that letting go of the things you have outgrown opens up doors to the path you are supposed to be on. What if having an honest conversation, saying “no”, or standing up for yourself is the mindset shift to happiness, healing, and wholeness?

If a situation is causing you pain, hurt, or anger, acknowledge these emotions. If you’re ignoring these feelings, you are not allowing yourself to heal. 

So, you’re feeling the pain, the hurt, the anger — where do you go from there? You tell yourself, “I am letting go of what no longer serves me. I am acknowledging my emotions, but letting go of the emotions that do not serve me.”

Open yourself up to experiences that bring you healing and wholeness. For me, I have been running, journaling, and reaching out to my close friends for advice and often a hug. 

And then you thank your Miranda, your Samantha, your Charlotte. You thank the advice-givers, the tough lovers, and the hopeless romantics that help you through the healing with a hug and a shoulder to lean on. 

In the wise words of Miss Carrie Bradshaw, “It’s hard enough to find people who will love you no matter what. I was lucky enough to find three of them.”

 

Isabel Causey knows good music, and isn't afraid to ask. A Baltimore native currently attending The College of Charleston, Isabel is pursuing a major in Arts Management and hopes to combine a love for writing with her passion for good music. Some of her other interests include running, astrology, making playlists, and good iced lattes. Isabel believes we should all be intersectional feminists and wear masks!
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